Late? How Can I Be Late if I Never Say When I'm Coming Home?

Don't you hate it when you sneeze right after applying mascara? I did that this morning. I looked like Speckles the Clown after.

I had lunch with Jill yesterday. I saw her new apartment and her cute little dog, Grace Ann. I told Jill that I told ya'll about her laundry experience - the bra and panties stuck to the grill of her car story. Jill didn't remember anything about it! Here I've been laughing about it for years. It's good to know that embarrassing moments sometimes erase themselves from your mind, isn't it? . I have 6 brothers and sisters to remind me of embarrassing moments so, erased or not, they will ALL come back to haunt me. I've got plenty of stuff on them too, and they know it, so we just rehash our childhood stories when we are with each other. Keep them among ourselves. Plus I have lots of family pictures. And a scanner.

Whenever I go out, the Mister kind of gets an arbitrary idea in his mind about when I'll be home. Anything after that artificially induced arrival time means I'm late. I don't commit to a return time. My plan is always just to hang out for a while. When the person I'm with starts yawning and looking at their watch (or I do) I leave. Then I make 2 or 3 stops on the way home. With that kind of an agenda it turns out I'm always "late" getting home.

I have to dash out later and get a Father's day card for the Mister. We're not doing gifts at the moment, because of my unemployed state, so that takes a lot of stress out of major holidays. I either happen across something months before an event or I am lying awake ( what's new about that?) the night before trying to decide on something.

As I walked into the Dunkin' Donut's for coffee this morning I noticed my reflection in the mirrored posts in front of the door. I screeched to a dead stop, almost killing 4 people running in behind me, because in that kind of mirror I look like I wear a size 2. The mister looked pretty good too. Soon as I'm finished here I'm looking for new mirrors. I wanted to drag the skinny girl behind the counter over to the mirror to see if she would disappear. People are so sensitive these days. I decided to leave well enough alone. Usually what happens with mirrors - especially at shopping malls- is I'm walking along, feeling pretty good about myself and I do a double take when I come to a mirror because I always imagine myself younger, skinnier and certainly more stylish than the woman who keeps staring back at me.

Did you notice that snake removal ad on my blog? What a hoot. That came from the story about extracting a snake from my lanai. Now that I've said that word again the ad will probably continue on for a few days. I wonder what will happen if I say elephantitis, or summer savory, or Sasquatch. We'll see. I just said them. I'll let you know.

I have some things to do around the house ( at least the Mister thinks I do) , so I'm checking out for now. More to follow! Thanks for popping in!