Life in the Fast Lane

I'm pressed for time today - and nothing the least bit interesting has happened. Nothing. No rain, no irritating people who deserve recognition - except for several drivers who may be a future subject, even the Mister behaved. All was plain and ordinary! Even the mail was boring. So, I decided to share a poem with you, and I'll go off and do my homework for my Bible study class. My posse will be very disappointed (and so will I) if I show up without anything to discuss and share tonight.

The following poem came to mind while I was standing in the """"express lane"""" at Albertson's one day several years ago....just read it, you'll see why:

Life in the Fast Lane

I’ve been standing here for hours now
With milk and whole wheat bread
As I glance again quite dolefully
At the sign above my head

The tersely written words imply
I should not be in distress
Limit 20 Items Please
Cash Only – Fast Express

And yet I stand impatiently
In a glazed-eyed cob-webbed funk
While Black-Tee-Shirt in front of me
Paws through impulse buyer’s junk

Straw-Purse-Lady moves in queue
And empties out her cart
The rest of us, with moving lips
Count from eggs to key lime tart

She’s unaware of piercing glares
As we count to 25
Oh, where’s my tar and feather kit!
Let’s string her up alive!

Then Black-Tee-Shirt (with impulse buys)
Sets down his case of beer
We all decide he drinks too much
His wife should leave him here

Diamond-Rings gets set to move
Lines up her wine and brie
Smoked oyster dip and cheese puff shells
That’s food for thought for me

A heavy date most likely sits
Or paces by her door
While she’s caught in the fast lane
Stuck here for ever more

A checkbook flashes in the hand
Of Baseball-Cap-Askew
All heads turn ‘round and glare at him
Cash Only Please means you!

We move with snail like slowness
‘til I finally forge ahead
and set my meager purchase down
(tepid milk and stale wheat bread)

Just then the check-out light blinks off
I can only gasp and gape
One moment, please, says MISTY SUE
I have to change the tape