A Ball at Willow Manor!

Willow is hosting a Ball today at Willow Manor! Will you be there? Who will you take? What will you wear? I'm so excited! It reminds me of the days when my date would arrive with a corsage.

I wonder if I will have one for the Ball? I love orchids! I hope it has orchids on it! Shall I have him pin it on?

The wonderful thing about a cyber event is I can wear anything I like! It always fits, it is always affordable and it always look fabulous! So why don't you look through your closet. See what you have to wear and come along.

I've decided on these shoes. Aren't they divine? Manalo Blahniks, my dear. And not on sale either! I practically had to pull them out of Avona's hands! The black ones look better on her anyway. I told her so. She agreed, handed them to her chauffer, and she was off to look for her gown.

At first I thought I would wear this lovely Marchesa frock. I've worn it to another gala, though and one doesn't want to be seen in the very same gown twice, does one! But look - it fits you perfectly! So why don't you just put this on and come along!

This! This is what I have decided to wear. It's another of Marchesa's designs. I thought the straps would be a better idea - with all of the dancing, you know. I'm going to wear my hair up.

Well let me just touch up my lipstick and I'm off. I've decided to meet my date there - his schedule, you know. Very busy. Who am I taking? Sean Connery. The more mature one. The earlier one - the James Bond one, would be too flirty.

Six Blogs In Bloom Awards

I spent several days mulling over the next presentation of the Blog in Bloom Award. I was still trying to narrow things down a bit today when I came up with one of my more brilliant ideas: Why should I? Narrow it down, that is? There are several blogs I visit frequently that just bloom with art, elegance, fun, conversation over a good cup of tea and wonderful things to do and see.

So, I am presenting this award to:

• Sandy of birds, bees, bugs and blossoms covers the four B's of nature with delightful , imaginative and witty posts.

• Kalianne's Bygone Beauty , brings us an elegant reminder of the beauty, traditions and values of bygone eras.

• Janeen of Chachaneen celebrates the closeness and traditions of family and friends and fabulous food.

• Trish of Nana's Living the Dream lets us share the dream, offering fresh hot mugs of tea along with a dose of encouragement, art and life.

• Esther at Tender Mercies offers a quiet, peaceful place to contemplate and grow in God's Love.

• Marie of Vintage Postcards shares wonderful vintage postcards with historic facts, fiction and fun

Click on the Blog in Bloom for more information about the award.

Thank you ladies for your bloomin' blogs!

Squirrely Cold Case File

Ok, who took it? The little dead squirrel in the Albertson's bag behind the bush is MIA. On or about 21:00 the Mister was going to set the vic (they say that on television all the time) by the curb for pickup.

He discovered the bag and contents were missing with no sign of disturbance or unusual activity in the area of the theft.

I'm thinking a turkey vulture spotting the bag from 1000 feet up saying "Ooooh, carryout" and swooped down to snag the bag and flew off looking like a demon stork about to make a delivery. Meanwhile, people waiting for the stork to bring a little bundle of joy are cowering in their basements. This bird is one scary looking dude.

There is no evidence of fowl play to bolster my theory, so I cannot be sure of happened. In addition the little chalk outline I made at the alleged crime scene was washed away in the rain last night, so there is no evidence of the death or the theft.

I am officially filing the mysterious death of Eatinyer Roses and the theft of his little corpse into my cold case files. I' m off the case. Dismissed.

Back to Nature

I got an e-mail yesterday from my neighbor, Julie. It was basically a note to let folks in our subdivision know that there are lots of deer running around the neighborhood at night. The guy next door to her has been taking a count, and according to Julie, he's counted 17 with night vision goggles, some pregnant.

Now I ask you, how is it that deer can afford night vision goggles when I can't? Do all 17 need a pair? Couldn't they share and maybe leave me a pair over where the hibiscus that they ate used to be? Maybe just let the pregnant ones wear them. Imagine what a herd of deer would look like in this:

I found another dead squirrel yesterday! This is the first casualty since Chauncey Le Nuts bit the big one a few months ago. As happened the previous time, I neglected to bring along my Hello Kitty CSI kit, so I just made a perfunctory examination. There was no sign of foul or fowl play. No arrow, bullet holes, little tiny pantyhose wrapped around his neck.

He looked rather content, for being dead, so I figure it was just natural causes. Or more likely from eating all of my rose buds. Too much vitamin C. I had to use a plastic Albertson's bag to pick it's little body up. I have a special place behind a bush where I stash animal corpses until trash pick up. I made the mistake of putting a dead fish in the garbage can in the garage once. This IS Florida, after all. We have garbage pick up twice a week here in the sunshine state for obvious reasons. The garage usually being a comfortable and consistent 110 degrees. (That's Fahrenheit) (We Americans haven't figured out the metric system yet so we sure as heck would be scratching our heads trying to work out Celsius.)

I'm sorry, but I don't do little animal funerals. You have to be licensed to do funerals in Pinellas County. I can marry people if I want but I can't bury stuff.

Let's go back for a minute to the sentence about garbage in the garage - I just noticed that except for the b they are spelled the same. Huh. That explains a lot about the state of several of the garages in our neighborhood. You know the ones. There's so much "B" in the garage that after 17 years they still haven't been able to put a car in it.

I think I have mentioned before that our daughter Jennifer in San Francisco uses the Mister as her personal private alarm clock. Either she texts him by 10:00 saying she's awake or he will call her. The Mister has to have the alarm on his phone set to go off at 10:00 am every day. That's because, in my unemployed state our schedules have gone to pot, and we just might still be asleep at 10:00 (so what!). Anyway, the texting is sometimes amusing - like yesterday for example - we're still snoring away when her text comes in. It says "wakey wakey" The Mister looks at it an laughs and then he mashes it close enough to my face so I can see it, and I laugh. Wakey wakey is one of the still used vestiges of our years as parents of young children. It's a nice way to start the day - laughing

I like the alarm idea - we know every morning that Jennifer is alive and well in SF. That's very reassuring.

I've Just Had The Loveliest Day Ever! Thank You Everyone!

A beautiful and delicious party favor from Janeen!













I've just had the loveliest day ever! What a wonderful day and what delicious treats everyone made. I've never in my life had more cups of tea than I did today! I suspect I will be awake all night, but I'll just spend my time making a journal of the day. (I filled my handkerchief with a few fancy sugar cubes and fairy cakes and scones in case I get a bit peckish around 3:00am.

The wonderful treats, pictures, music poetry and delightful imagination were provided by
Lavinia Ladyslipper of the Birdbath Chronicles
Steviewren from a little birdie told me so
Poetikat of Poetikats Invisible Keepsakes
Trish from Nana's Living the Dream
Janeen of Chachaneen
Kalianne from Bygone Beauty

It was such fun visiting with everyone today. I finally made my exit a short time ago. I've decided to just put my feet up and save the dishes for the morning.


As I write my journal entry later tonight I have only to look at my tea gown to remember the details of all the wonderful things I ate: There's a bit of lemon curd on my right sleeve. On the left is a smidgen of currant jelly, on the skirt I managed to drop a little chocolate, some pink icing from that little piggy fairy cake, a bit of clotted cream, a drop or two of tea, and some raspberry jam. There's a shrimp stuck just below the knee and a bit of a grass stain from Lavinia's garden at the hem. Oh, and the wee spot on my right shoulder? Remember that cute little bird that greeted us at Stevie Wrens? Well, I shouldn't have stood directly under it.



I usually don't make such a mess of myself, but there were well over 100 people in the tiny tea cottage, and well... it's so difficult to balance a tea cup and a plate of scones and cakes and candies and well, you understand, I'm sure.



I just want to thank everyone who participated and everyone who took time to visit with all of us today. We'll have to do this again!

If you missed visiting with anyone, I'm sure they won't mind you taking a peek. Just click on their names listed in this post, or their blogs listed in "my bonnie blog list" in the right margin.



Thank you again! It was just a delightful day!

The Stuff That Urban Legends Are Made Of

Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute

207 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20078

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie".

It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it's modern origin:

1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it.

Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it's normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.

Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it.

We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe

Curator, Antiquities

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The above letter is, by far, the most endearing, droll and entertaining of all Urban Legends. It was written in 1994 by Harvey Rowe - who has no connection whatsoever with the Smithsonian. He sent it to several friends, just for fun, who sent it to several friends, etc. And 14 years later the Smithsonian is still getting calls from gullible American's asking to speak with Harvey Rowe. Check it out: http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/smithsonian.asp I am forever indebted to my friend, Kathy H. for cluing me into the existence of this letter. Not because she believed it, but be cause she believed I would get a good laugh out of it. I still do 7 years later.



We've all gotten e-mails from well intentioned acquaintances filled with weird facts, catastrophic food ingredients, conspiracy theories with a panicked request to forward it IMMEDIATELY to 2,106 of your closest friends to avoid calamities, major disasters, world crisis beyond imagining or save an individual who is dying of cancer, leukemia, curiosity or any of a dozen other terrible illnesses.

The thing that amazes me is people believe these things without question. I think some thrive on them. They live in Cyberville and have lost touch with reality. Other than watching soap operas and serving Hamburger Helper there's nothing going on in their real lives.
When you get your copy of the life or death request you see 94 names listed along with yours. Most of the other e-mail names read like a sleaze dating ad: HotMama, Whosyodaddy, Bestinbed, Fuzzytiger, Handsomdude243. Do you like your name sitting there big as life in between Pinkpanties and Sexybob? I don't. I get creeped out. After I delete the e-mail I usually take a shower. Or gargle. Or wash my hands at least.


I check out requests that seem plausable, probable, vaguely or partially true at my favorite Urban Legends site, http://www.snopes.com/. Snopes is the sanity check of the cyber-nation They will tell you if it's true, partially true or not even close. You'll usually find your latest warning among the 25 hottest legends. http://www.snopes.com/info/top25uls.asp

I get a certain amount of satisfaction by copying the url debunking the urban legend in question and replying to my best and dearest concerned friend, leopardskinzdoll. I'm always so very sorry to burst his/her little catastrophic bubble with truth and logic, but hey. They just made me take an extra shower.

The usual result: They decide I'm no fun anymore and delete me from their e-mail list.


Whatever.

Blog In Bloom Award Three to Four

Visiting other blogs is such a delight. Each has the personality and the essence of the author within it. The the words, pictures, poems and sometimes even music flows and blooms. I have recently spent time with the following bloggers that bloom and would like to bestow upon each, if I may, the Blog in Bloom award.

The first goes to Poetikat's Invisible Keepsakes who's delightful poetry, punctuated with humor and pictures makes her blog a joy to visit. Her poems "Touch", and "Spider Kid" clinched the need to recognize.

The second is presented to Sweet Repose. The blog is filled with wonderful antiques, poetry and pictures. Her "Ships of Earth" and "Lament for a Friend - Again", both pictures and verse are quite amazing. Sweet Repose has found beauty, promise and a voice in spite of and because of change.

For these and previous recipients, I did not create any rules with this award. If you would like to pass it along to other blooming blogs, please feel free to do so!

To find out more about the Blog in Bloom, click on the award in the margin of my blog.

Blog In Bloom Award Too

All right. Stand back. This is it! I have got to give Stevie Wren a Blog in Bloom Award. Now. I have been reading her posts for several weeks, and she is ALL OVER the place with fun, artistic and nostalgic postings that just bloom with love and enjoyment. It is a pleasure to pop over to a little birdie told me so and visit with Stevie. We can peek at her garden, sit with her while she makes aprons (aprons!) for her grand daughters, watch her paint a picture that would make Georgia OKeeffe take notice. Then, just before we sit down to watch Burn Notice (love it!) we can browse through her vintage Simplicity patterns - the same ones mom had tucked away in a drawer. What fun! Thank you, Stevie, for a beautiful Blog in Bloom!

Do Dogs Explode?

Layla the Dog, once a fearless pooch, unafraid of anything and everyone, has become increasingly fearful of thunderstorms. If she even senses the possibility her ears start to droop. During the storm she will sit on any available lap and shake like a little vibrating pillow. She will NOT go outside. At all. Ever. Til the sun is out and the birdies are singing.

Yesterday, being a case in point, I took her out "first thing in the morning" which was 9:30 by my current standards of sleeping however long I feel like and so what. Instead of doing her business, she found a tasty morsel of a half eaten (by who knows what) fig covered in sand, debris and ants. Once she finds a gourmet treasure like that all she wants to do is go back into the house, jump up on my bed and eat her yummy tidbit - on my white blanket. She cannot eat things outside. Why can't dogs eat stuff outside?

I could not get her to spit it out, eat it or give it to me to hold while she did her business. We were at an impasse. I finally had to let her back in the house. I was getting hot and thirsty. A few seconds later I hear The Mister, who is in the bedroom, say "What in the world is that and why are you eating it on the bed?"

An hour later I asked her if she would like to go out. She declined, having just heard a firecracker go off. During the next hour, and continuing on until 5:30 ish it clouded up and rained, poured, thundered, lightened and rained some more. Going out was out of the question. At this point, we are talking about a dog who has not done any outdoor business since 10:30 the previous night. Seventeen hours.

It finally stopped raining, but some neighbor hood child ran out and blasted off another %$#(%#&*^ firecracker causing additional delay. Finally at 6:30, fearing a dog explosion, I practically carried her out. Eighteen Hours. She sniffed around for 5 minutes, looking for the most perfect of spots and then FINALLY! Success! How do they do that? Do they have some kind of reabsorbtion process? Is this where the term "scared shitless" truly applies? I myself would have been dead by now. How do they do this????? Can someone out there please tell me?

More Orchids to enjoy!

Today it's all about orchids in bloom:

Some of my recent bloomers:

This tiny orchid has a big name: orthiocephalaus inflexus. The picture is blurry (no kidding) but that tiny white blurry dot above my finger is a flower. I need a magnifying glass to see the detail. The name means something like "stiff birdlike hangy-down leaves"

This is a non-blurry closeup of my scented Phalaenopsis hybrid

The flowers of Maxillaria Tenufolia are very long lasting and have a delightful coconut/vanilla scent. Maxillaria refers to the jawbone

Dendrobum Aggregatium x Lindleyi hybrid sends out multiple sprays of pansy like orchids.

This bright orange Ascocentrum Miniatum is a tiny relative of the Vanda.

Below are two shots of the Dendrobium Anosmum. The first shows the two new leafy stems that will loose their leaves and bloom next year and the pendulous stem in bloom. A close-up of the same blooming stem. The leaves you see in the close-up are from the orchid hanging next to the anosmum

A skipper moth on my Golden Dew Drop.

Herbs and Flowers

Today was so uneventful - that being a good thing - I thought I would share some of my orchids with you. I'll make sure something happens tomorrow - even if I have to instigate it myself. Hope you're enjoying your 4th of July weekend!

Mystery Solved!

Daughter Jennifer informed me that the unidentified hairy thing pictured in yesterday's post(probably still sitting on the ledge outside my lawyer's office in Tampa) is a mat. (see yesterday's picture.) Jennifer's wealth of worldly knowledge far exceeds mine. For example, she is the one who introduced me to the phrase BFE! A useful description that I now employ when I have to park at the far end of a parking lot or go to some obscure location - like Fred Howard Park. It's much faster to just say I have to go to BFE. Here are two examples I have used recently: 1)Yes, young man, I do need assistance with my groceries. I was forced to park in BFE. 2) I do not know how to get to Fred Howard Park. That park is located in BFE which is near Tarpon Springs."

As for the mat, if anyone else in the world other than me has been enlightened by this hitherto unbeknowenst mystery object, it is apparently used to add savoir faire to a hairdo. AKA a do. It appears I have been giving people undeserved credit for having their own personal hair on their heads. I was very surprised to find out that some employ the assistance of giant false eyelashes to enhance their hairstyles. Case in point: Dolly Parton, Cher and not Donald Trump (although it might be an improvement).
I may be wrong here, but it appears that Cher has 243 mats glued to her head in this picture.
I had an absolute torrent of 2 replies to my Who What Where When and Why game! I supplied the clue to the correct answers in the comments section of that blog. The clue is: read Chris' reply. Her answers are correct! Good job. If you would like a prize, Chris, I will drive back over to Tampa and get that mat for you.

I received another e-mail regarding an offer of money this morning! It seems a lovely christian woman is sitting on her deathbed in a hospital somewhere in the United Kingdom(BFE perhaps?) pecking away on her laptop, and trying to unload a large, but unspecified, amount of cash before she conks off. I must reply quickly. With my bank account number and other important personal information so that she may send it to me for my personal enjoyment. If I choose not to reply this vast fortune will revert to the government. I have decided to let it go to Queen Elizabeth so that she might purchase some new tea things.

And here I was, not believing that chain-letter e-mail that arrived 2 weeks ago. It said if I send it to 10 of my friends within 24 hours I will be the recipient of money. I sent it out as quickly as I could scrape up the names of 10 people and here I sit being offered tons of cash from all over the world. Yesterday the Congo, today the United Kingdom! Why just last week I found that $5 in the Albertson's parking lot. All this! Just when my 401K is starting to smell like a dead armadillo!

I think I'll go over to Albertson's for a while. I'll just sit in the parking lot and wait for people to drop money on the ground. Thank you for visiting my blog!

Lose Something?

Anyone lose this? Don't know what it is, but I saw it in Tampa this morning - sitting on a ledge outside of my lawyer's office (I'll get to that. Concentrate on this thing) It's about 4 inches wide, 5 inches long, made from some synthetic hairy substance and was just sitting there all forlorn and wet with rain. Any takers? It looks like a Lucille Ball brand false eyelash for a giant, a hula skirt for an elf, or a really bad fake moustache. Any other guesses?

I didn't have a pair of latex gloves from my Fischer Price Play Time CSI Kit so I left it there. Took this picture instead.

Lawyer? No, the Mister and I are not on the skids. He specializes in Employment Law. You know, discrimination and stuff. I'm working on something with him, but I've taken an oath of complete and utter silence so the rest is for your imagination. Oh! I just noticed you can see one of my recently pedicured toes at the bottom of the picture. Nice job, huh?

Speaking of nails, I have a question. I found a comment on my 6/4 blog from "Anonymous". She asked if anyone had ever heard of this: A woman having a pedicure in the shop she frequents asks to have small V's maintained in the top edge of each of her big toe nails. Says it prevents ingrown toenails. I've never heard that one, have you? When I envision her trying to put nylons over her feet it gives me the same creepy feeling I get when someone says "tomato skins". Can anyone lend enlightenment to this V thing? I'll go back to Tampa and get that black whatever it is for you.

I got an e-mail from Africa yesterday. Seems I've won a Congolese lottery sweepsteaks and have a "very excelent good luck prise awaiting for my promt respond." Imagine. $800,000.00 bukaroos waiting for me in a bank somewhere in the Congo. Yipee. If I will just mail a check for $255.00 for "processing" fees and provide my bank account number(I'll get right on that) they will pop that money in the mail for me. Even left a number I can call to assure them that my good luck prise check arrives. How thoughtful. My, my, my. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors in the letter. Other than that, I'm sure it was legit. But...alas.. I decided to move it into my SPAM folder along with the e-mail from Sheri Star Delight who has some hot sexy babes I can chat with 24 hours a day. No thanks, I'm good. Got the Mister.

Speaking of money, guess I'll go watch the Dow Jones for a while. I'll watch my 401K continue its downward slide into oblivion. Good to chat with you! Stop by again.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Husband

I know I pick on the Mister a lot. From what you've read, I'm sure you agree I am entitled. He does, however, have several endearing traits. Yes, really! For one, he's always been Mr. Errand Man. Nothing too small or too embarrassing for the Mister. Like back in the olden day's, if I needed any lady-stuff he had no problem whatsoever going out by himself to make the necessary purchases. I've seen gown men pale at the thought of going into a woman's clothing store, or carry ladies laundry to the dry cleaner. They would never, ever pop into a Walgreen's to pick up lady stuff. Better they should be eaten by a lion then to ask on which aisle the Tampax are located. Not the Mister. Any time night or day. Anything. The more embarrassing to the average male the better. I know I've got a gem here.

He's not a church going man, but he does attend on Mother's Day, just for me, and on the major Holidays that match his initials : E C. Easter and Christmas. Today I wanted to attend the Baptism of several of our church members. He suggested it might be better if he clean the swimming pool and maybe pop over to Walmart for some paper towels, but I reminded him that the way to Fred Howard Park is a complete never to be unravelled mystery to me. 400 turns and back roads to get to a beach that is only about 7 miles from our house. You go north and end up going south. They have signs showing the way to the park, but when you come out they don't have any signs showing you how to get back home again. No problem for the Mister. He was more than happy to go with me. No bribes necessary, just the possibility that I might use up a tank of gas coming and going.
Yes - we have our baptisms in the Gulf of Mexico - it's a perfect place. I was re-baptised there about 2 1/2 years ago. The Mister came without being asked and took lots of pictures.

He is all of a sudden getting iffy on his errand runs. It used to be I could run out of Heinz 57 sauce (don't know why I used this for an example. We don't even use the stuff) and he would dust the potato chip crumbs off his turquoise t-shirt, change out of those blue shorts that he is not even allowed to go to the mail box in, and dash off without so much as a sigh. Just in the past few months, however, he has started to balk at errands. Says he doesn't really like popping out for stuff anymore. I told him he cannot change his mind now. No. He's been doing this for 38 years and I'm not even sure how to go about running an errand. I do not know which aisle they keep the Tampax in (don't know why I used this as an example, I don't even use the stuff any more) (Hallelujah and praise the Lord) Don't get me wrong, I've driven all over the state, from Michigan to Florida and traveled to several states on my own. No problem. But those were work related or to visit my family. They weren't to dash out for a quart of milk. He cannot change his mind at this late stage of my life. Batting my eyes doesn't really work anymore - we both just laugh at my efforts at feminine guiles. This is a developing story. I'll let you know how this goes. I think I might need a box of Raisinettes, or maybe some Heinz 57 sauce since we haven't had any in about 32 years. Thanks for stopping by! Did you take the quiz on yesterday's post?

It Pays to Complain

Picture: Tampa Theatre


It's a miracle. Maybe. I took my complaint about Suspender Man Denis and Suits-are-bad Linda to ABC Action news. I wrote a very polite note asking that they PLEASE MOVE OVER instead of standing directly in front of Pinellas County during their weather reports. I did not get a reply. However, last night at 6:00 and 11:00 Denis was standing in the Gulf of Mexico, leaving Pinellas in view for the local folk to actually see for a change. He seemed a bit distracted, so he may have been having an off day. Chances are that he got the message. I'll report back after a few more weather reports to let you know if it's just a fluke.

I have gotten a few things corrected by writing or calling to state the obvious. Once I encouraged the County to move 50 Bob's Barricades off of Starkey Road. The road warriors finished their work but left the barricades. I continued to sit in the turn lane each day for 10 to 15 light changes. For nothing. I called. They said they were still working daily. Pfffft. I explained that I sat there for 30 minutes every day. I memorized every stone and cigarette butt. I watched the gaseous expansion of the dead armadillo to the point of explosion. Nothing had moved. No human being had visited the area for at least a week. Next day? No Bob's barricades. Ya'll have me to thank for that.

Another change that has my name all over it: Tampa Theater has a wonderful balcony. Problem is, the stairs are various widths and heights and are not properly lit. It was scary enough trying to navigate them with two free hands, and I had somehow been rooked into going for popcorn for the Mister and his Bro. Coming back, I missed the last step - couldn't see it at all. I almost took a swan dive over the rail. Luckily the rail held. Other than a shower of popcorn on the folks below and a lovely black and blue mark I was none the worse for wear. I called. I'm not a litigious person, I merely stated the problem and asked for better lighting or reflective tape at the stair edges. Next visit: reflective tape at the stair edges. You're welcome.

If you haven't been to Tampa Theater yet, you have got to go. It's amazing. They show a wonderful summer series of old films. Go - even if you've seen the film 74 times. They also show the very best of current independent and foreign films: The Station Agent, The Painted Veil, Pieces of April played there. It's a wonderful experience. Sit in the balcony. You won't be tripping over any stairs. http://www.tampatheatre.org/

I won't be asking the Mister to do anything out of doors today. Seems his 20 year old blue knit shorts are in the laundry. He's wearing some getup that is ....well. I am beyond words. He's wearing a 30 year old turquoise t-shirt with a torn pocket and a pair of ill fitting purplish gray knit pants that have enough static electricity in them that they have kinda spun around on his legs. It is gruesome. I told him I had no choice but to tell you.

I think the dryer just stopped. I can't believe I'm happy his blue shorts are dry and ready to wear for another 35 days. Gotta go get the Mister re-outfitted. Good to see you again!

Getting My Clock Fixed

I asked the Mister to fix my clock. He thought he had died and gone to heaven. He's been wanting to do that for 38 years. I actually meant he should fix the wall clock he gave me for our 1st anniversary. It chimes 1 too many times each hour. I don't feel like trying to figure that one out. Besides I killed a spider this morning rather than interrupt his sleep, so he owes me one. He owes me millions actually but we won't go into that right now.

So much for our open door policy discussed in a previous post. I locked the Mister out of the house twice in the last 24 hours. Not on purpose. Honest! Just because I am so used to locking the door wall when I come inside, I neglected to take into consideration that he is outside. Man, you would have thought I ate the last ice cream sandwich or something. I have been instructed NOT to lock the door when I come in. He'll be sorry when people just come wandering in aimlessly.

I've accidentally locked Layla the dog out on the lanai on occasion. That's because she's so quiet (unlike the Mister with his assortment of bodily noises). I notice Layla's missing right away because she hangs around with me all the time. I go over to the door and look out. She's looking in at me- similar to how I imagine God looked at Adam and Eve wearing those fig leaves. I let her in and she acts like she was away from home for 15 years. I act like she was too. After 2 treats and a Dixie cup full of water she generally gets over it. I offered the Mister a Dixie cup full of water after I locked him out for the second time and he told me where I should put it. Tch.

It's starting to thunder quite loudly, and I love storms, but I have a fear of turning my computer into a paperweight, so I'm signing off - Our weather radio just came on too, so I'm thinking this is a good move. Catch you later! While I'm gone you can make your own Picasso style picture:
http://www.mrpicassohead.com/create.html

Let's Make A Deal and I got Door # 3

We needed baking potatoes for dinner. To go with our ribs and home made BBQ sauce. Yummy. We spent an hour wheeling and dealing, the Mister and I, about who would drive the entire mile to Albertson's and make the big purchase of the day. I'd already gone out for our lattes and Checker burgers so I felt I was immune having already exerted myself today. But the Mister came up with the best argument. He said he would load the 7 bags of grah-doo for the Salvation Army if I would do the Albertson's run. He looks reasonably shabby today(in his 20 year old shirt and those *%@(* blue shorts he wears day after day after day after..), and I, being the height of fashion in my jeans and clean t-shirt, decided to bite the bullet and purchase the potatoes. Whatever. It turned out that lady luck smiled on me.

I used the self-check out, to avoid being asked "Did you find everything okay??) (NOOOoo - you guys keep rearranging the store. It took me a month to find two potatoes, 1 box of pasta and some ice cream sandwiches) (Put it back the way it was, please)

Turns out I got an error notice on the potatoes: Item Not Recognized. Step Aside. Help Alert. Security to Aisle B. Stand Away From the Checkout. Keep Your Hands Where We Can See Them. I waved the bar code again. Yes, a bar code on the potato and said Itttttttssssss a potatooooooo. Still no luck.

The self check clerk who was in the middle of a yawn had to drag herself over and see what the problem was. Found out the potatoes aren't in the computer - new brand- so she gave them to me for free! They'll be absolutely scrumptious. I love free stuff. And then, Lady Luck smiled again: I found a $5 bill in the parking lot next to my car. Cool. I waited for a while to see if anyone would run out of the store flailing their arms and searching the ground for lost money, but it didn't happen. My ice cream sandwiches were starting to melt, so $5 and 2 potatoes richer I wended my way home.

The timer is about to go off - got to get the Mister to put those ribs on the grill, so I'm outta here for now. Check the earlier post from today - you can make a kaleidoscope. It's fun. Thanks for stopping by!

The Good the Bad and the Muggy

This isn't me in the picture- just my new nightie:




Good Stuff:

Nephew Patrick who spent 3 days in the hospital with a lacerated spleen (Ouch!)was released today and sent home to recuperate! Not sure how he managed that one - wasn't hit while playing paintball, didn't have a major automobile accident - or even a minor one, didn't misstep during a rumba on Dancing with the Stars or sky dive into a forest. None the less, it happened - but he's healing!


I woke up to rain at 4:30 this morning! Got about an inch. Had enough water in the pool to spend time hosing off the lanai (this is the muggy part, but well worth the effort)


I enjoyed a yummy dinner with Heather and her mom DJ last night at The Melting Pot. It was a Breast Cancer Awareness Ladies Night Out. We had lots of quality time together and ate ourselves into a stupor. And then we had desert - a Banana's Foster fondue with wonderful tidbits for dipping. I can't describe it further without drooling on the keyboard so I'll just say it was eye-fluttering good! And all for a very good cause. Heather's grandmother is a 2 time survivor and my sister Mary is a survivor and has passed the 5 year mark. Get those mammograms ladies! Don't forget those self-exams! Think Pink!

Good stuff on the news today: 406 people were arrested in a nationwide mortgage fraud sting. Hope one of the was the person who "bought" the house next door. Todd - I hope you're in cuffs. 2 guys from Bear Sterns did the perp walk today for defrauding investors, and the Navy has to rethink it's contract with a European company and perhaps rebid it (hellooooo) to an American company.

Bad Stuff:


Not much of this, just trying to get my latest order from Soma (the ladies intimates part of Chico's). I ordered a night gown, a bra and 2 pairs of britches on 6/2. When the order came, only the gown was in the box. I called, got a credit then a recharge for the other 3 items. Today the order came - only the britches were in the box. No bra. So I called again, got a credit and a recharge and found out the price had gone down to $16! So I added one more bra to the order and got them to agree to a two day turn-around.

I've been ordering from http://www.chicos.com/ for several years now, and have never had a problem. Not sure what is going on at the warehouse, but I'd suggest a bit of quality control. I'll have no problem ordering from them again. Everything usually arrives within 2-3 days, it fits well and they have great sales. I'm a Passport member, having spent a bundle there so I get free shipping and an extra 5% off my orders. Good deal. If you have trouble finding jeans that fit try Chico's. They use a realistic amount of fabric and have room to breath in their slacks and jeans. No laying on the bed to get the zippers up! Oh, and that night gown is fabulously comfortable!

Sad Bad news: My animated oregano plant croaked. After being stomped on by a deer, flipped upside down by a squirrel, nosed around by an armadillo and spiraled into the air by an egg laying turtle, it decided to just give up. It's dead as a doornail and all brown and crunchy, so I don't think it's going to revive itself.

Late? How Can I Be Late if I Never Say When I'm Coming Home?

Don't you hate it when you sneeze right after applying mascara? I did that this morning. I looked like Speckles the Clown after.

I had lunch with Jill yesterday. I saw her new apartment and her cute little dog, Grace Ann. I told Jill that I told ya'll about her laundry experience - the bra and panties stuck to the grill of her car story. Jill didn't remember anything about it! Here I've been laughing about it for years. It's good to know that embarrassing moments sometimes erase themselves from your mind, isn't it? . I have 6 brothers and sisters to remind me of embarrassing moments so, erased or not, they will ALL come back to haunt me. I've got plenty of stuff on them too, and they know it, so we just rehash our childhood stories when we are with each other. Keep them among ourselves. Plus I have lots of family pictures. And a scanner.

Whenever I go out, the Mister kind of gets an arbitrary idea in his mind about when I'll be home. Anything after that artificially induced arrival time means I'm late. I don't commit to a return time. My plan is always just to hang out for a while. When the person I'm with starts yawning and looking at their watch (or I do) I leave. Then I make 2 or 3 stops on the way home. With that kind of an agenda it turns out I'm always "late" getting home.

I have to dash out later and get a Father's day card for the Mister. We're not doing gifts at the moment, because of my unemployed state, so that takes a lot of stress out of major holidays. I either happen across something months before an event or I am lying awake ( what's new about that?) the night before trying to decide on something.

As I walked into the Dunkin' Donut's for coffee this morning I noticed my reflection in the mirrored posts in front of the door. I screeched to a dead stop, almost killing 4 people running in behind me, because in that kind of mirror I look like I wear a size 2. The mister looked pretty good too. Soon as I'm finished here I'm looking for new mirrors. I wanted to drag the skinny girl behind the counter over to the mirror to see if she would disappear. People are so sensitive these days. I decided to leave well enough alone. Usually what happens with mirrors - especially at shopping malls- is I'm walking along, feeling pretty good about myself and I do a double take when I come to a mirror because I always imagine myself younger, skinnier and certainly more stylish than the woman who keeps staring back at me.

Did you notice that snake removal ad on my blog? What a hoot. That came from the story about extracting a snake from my lanai. Now that I've said that word again the ad will probably continue on for a few days. I wonder what will happen if I say elephantitis, or summer savory, or Sasquatch. We'll see. I just said them. I'll let you know.

I have some things to do around the house ( at least the Mister thinks I do) , so I'm checking out for now. More to follow! Thanks for popping in!

Excuse Me, But There's a Lady of the Night on Your Lanai

Did you hear the one about the person who was an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? He would lie awake all night wondering if there is a doG.

I'm on insomniac (again) tonight, so here I am. I'm definitely NOT an agnostic. Occasionally my slight dyslexic side shows though. Usually just to myself when I misread something. I crack myself up. Like the time I glanced at a headline in the newspaper. I read: Librarians Storm Embassy. I think to myself: Librarians storm an embassy? Librarians? They're generally quiet and reserved. What might prompt a librarian to storm an embassy and which embassy for Heaven's sake??? I was going to drop off some books today, but now I am a bit apprehensive. So I decide to read the headline one more time. I read: Liberians Storm Embassy. I think to myself: Oh.

One of my Lady of the Night orchids is in bloom. The orchid species name is actually Brassavola Nodosa. It has a heavenly and very alluring scent - only at night. You can be 15 feet away and catch the scent. It is amazing. During the day it just sits there and looks pretty and doesn't give a clue about what goes on when the sun goes down. I think what prompted my inability to go to sleep tonight is I was minding my own business, reading in bed as I do and the Mister decided it was time to go to bed instead of watching the rest of Jimmy Kimmel. So he pops into bed and turns out the light. I decided to let him get away with it, but an hour and a half later I'm still laying there wide awake while he is snoring away contentedly in my left ear. I'm so used to the snoring part that I can ignore that, but Layla the dog was sleeping on my left foot. Plus I was thirsty. And my nose itched. So here I am. I'll probably go back to bed in a few minutes, turn the light back on and finish the story I was reading. A short story called "Rain" by G. Somerset Maugham.

I've read it several times, so I know how it ends, but that's beside the point. I was in mid-sentence when the lights went out and I was just getting to the really good part.

The story, written in 1920, is about a group of travelers who are held over in Pago-Pago because of a measles epidemic. The characters include a prudish missionary and a prostitute. Things happen. Maugham was a fantastic way of exposing human relationships. "Before the Party" is another particular favorite of mine.

One of his books, The Painted Veil", was recently made in to a wonderful movie staring Edward Norton and Naomi Watts. Filmed in China. It's excellent! Rent it! Now.

At the tone the time will be 3:45. (I think the blog post time shows as Pacific time, so it might look like I'm lying to ya. Believe me. It's 3:45. So I'll check my spelling as best I can and go snap that bedroom light back on in a minute I'll let you know how that goes. Thanks for visiting!

Orchids Orchids Orchids!

Daughter Jennifer sent me a picture of the tiny phalaenopsis I gave her for her birthday in March. She is an orchid lover/grower too and recently added some beautiful orchids to her collection in San Francisco.

My obsession began when I was in Hawaii 18-20 years ago. I brought a little dendrobium home with me to Michigan and set it on the window sill in my kitchen. I have a picture of the blooms somewhere in my picture box. One side of the kitchen window is bright with snow and on the inside I have this little tropical oasis with pretty little purple and white flowers on it. It thrived, and grew and bloomed each year. I brought it to Florida with me, put it in a hanging basket under the oak tree out back and the first year I had 14 sprays of flowers on it! The next year it was deader than a doornail. The famous No Name Storm aka March storm came through unannounced and surprised everyone on the coast with flooding and icy salt spray that blew far enough inland that it killed my poor orchid.

At some point I brought a replacement home, and then another and another.... 85 orchids later I have a beautiful collection. At any given moment, winter months included, I have from 12 to 25 or more orchids in bloom. They are surprisingly easy to grow and I keep them outside in the extension we added to the patio just for them. I have many different varieties. Some are so small you need a magnifying glass to see the flowers. I've shared offspring with family and friends over the years, and now both of my sissy's are adding to their collections.

Any time I'm on the road and I see an "orchids for sale" sign my car careens off in that direction and I turn into one of those people who look like they are taking their house plants out for a ride. You've seen them. Usually a blue Pinto with a potted palm in the back seat.

My favorite shopping places are http://www.orchids.com/ for mail orders and gifts, Louis DelFavio Orchids in Tampa - over by the Citrus Mall and Art Stone over near Tyrone Mall. The mister used to roll his eyes when I'd bring in a new plant, but now he goes to Louis' with me, and chooses one or two of his own. It's catchy. He also built my beautiful orchid tables for the patio.

Lowes, Home Depot, Target, Walmart, you name it, they all sell orchids now. Those are not necessarily as well cared for at the stores as dealer orchids are, but as long as the roots look healthy, and the plant doesnt look dried up it's a done deal. My sissy Janet called the other day with the name of a miniature hybrid she found (was it at Home Depot, sissy?) I'd not even heard of one of the parent orchids of the hybrid. It appears they are moving away from selling mostly phalaenopsis and dendrobium. Janet was the third person to call me for orchid advice that day! It was nice getting the calls (hermit wanna be or not) from her, my sissy Mary and daughty Jennifer for my """"expert advice""""". My advice comes from experience and losing several orchids along the way and moving them around for more or less sun, watering more or less, and feeding whenever the mood strikes me. I also have a couple of good Orchid books for reference. I bring them all in the house if we are expecting a freeze or a hurricane. Then I've got some of those little lizards (anoles) running around the house for weeks afterwards. Some of them turn into little mummies if I can't catch them and put them back outside.

If you feel like you need an orchid, don't be intimidated by it - just go get one. Ask the expert how to take care of it or look the orchid up on line for directions, and enjoy. Many only bloom once a year, but others bloom often and still others seem to be in bloom all the time. Most are unscented, but I have several scented varieties that smell like cocoanut, berries, chocolate, and cinnamon. Some are scented only at night and some just during the day. That depends on what insect or bird specializes in polinating them in the wild. The night scented are pollinated by nocturnal moths so they don't waste their time trying to be extra pretty during the day . Cool.

'Scuse me. My dog was barking for some assistance. I thought she left one of her chewie toys outside. Turns out she wanted water - from her outside dish. We passed two inside dishes to get to the patio. Don't ask. That's just the way things work around here. If I didn't know better I'd say the Mister put her up to it because he couldn't think up a question.