Dr. West discusses the Nervous Affections of Women

As if he hasn't said enough by chapter one, Dr. West insists on discussing the Nervous Affections of Women throughout Maidenhood and Motherhood. There is plenty of opportunity for any woman to go over the deep end at any moment of her life. Puberty is the very earliest that a maiden might fall into the chasm of hysteria. Hysteria signifies womb, and, since only women suffer from hysteria it is determined that the development of the womb brings the maiden into the reach of this malady. And, good news, my hysterical readers - hysteria ceases after mature womanhood. I wish someone would have told me that sooner I could have avoided about 10 years of hysteria.

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You two! You evil men! You were late for tea and now see what you have done!:

The good Doctor has a perfectly legitimate explanation for the hysterical young maiden: "It is the result of her literary education; that her mental faculties are expanded beyond human powers of endurance by being placed alongside of her brothers in class and stimulated by their ambitious nature to emulation of them. The result is collapse and wreck. It has been demonstrated beyond the possibility of a doubt that though the mental faculties of woman are of a finer texture than those of men, they are composed of more "shreds" which make the mental chords equally strong and susceptible of even greater strains. ...She looks forward to hours or days of pain and anguish. In addition, overstimulating novels, matinee' entertainments, associating with hired Irish girls, and French bonnes are in part responsible for this malady in our young maidens."

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The Yellow Wallpaper:

General exhaustion, often accompanied by a nervous cough, palpitations, and a sense of suffocation can be treated with 3 drachms Citrate of Iron, 30 grains Quinine Sulphate, 3 drachms of Tincture of Nux Vomica and 3 ounces of water - 3 tsp. per day and she'll be in the pink in no time. Unless of course there is a relapse. Or she becomes engaged.

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Long engagements may lead to a debilitated condition of the system, exhaustion of nerve power and may lead to serious derangement. 3 months to a year is recommended for the nervous, excitable and passionate American Maidens.

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The planning of the wedding may put the maiden in danger of nervous excitement and exhaustion as will the marriage ceremony itself when she feels that all eyes are on her and every movement is watched.

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All this hair is just going to cause hairsteria:

The wedding banquet can lead to problems if eaten too late or the food is too rich for the bride who's circulation of the blood and digestive organs are in a fragile state due to the the strain of the aforementioned puberty, engagement and wedding planning. We've already talked about the dangers of the honeymoon, so we'll fore go that nightmarish duty and move on to the honeymoon tour. This may also affect her health. Many cases of permanent unhappiness and permanent ill health dating from the wedding journey come under the notice of all physicians. It's no wonder the wedding tour is not condemned all together!

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Here is an extreme case in point of my very own observation: Victor and 15 year old Maria Penasco were married on 12/10/1910. Victor was wealthy beyond belief and he and his little bride were very much in love. They took a 2 year tour of Europe financed by a constant flow of money from Victor's mom and Maria aka Pepita acquired among many other things, jewelry valued at about $400,000.00. Which is about $20.43 American by today's standards.

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They were in Paris in April of 1912, and they decided to finish off the honeymoon with a cruise. They took a first class cabin, C65, and sailed away with their maid Fermina in tow. The ship? Oh, it was the Titanic. Needless to say, with her maid and herself stowed safely aboard Life boat 8, Pepina was troubled with such hysteria that the Countess of Rothes handed over her steering duties at the tiller to her cousin so she could sit with Pepita and attempt to give her comfort. Pepita was in mourning for Victor for 6 years. At the end of this time she remarried, gave birth to 3 children and lived until April 3 1972. Each of those post Titanic highlights in her life gave new opportunity for hysteria and nervous conditions.

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A tranquil place to rest:

Another case in point regarding hysteria: Due to the summer's heat and being required by her father to eat 2 day old unrefrigerated mutton stew for breakfast resulted in the sad tale of the overwrought and overtaxed Lizzie Borden. Perhaps Dad should have shelled out the 2 cents or so it would have cost for 2 soft boiled eggs. Surely it would have prevented Lizzie Borden from axing her father and stepmother the question: Eggs? Couldn't I just have eggs?

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Lemme ax you a question, Pa:

Can I quit for now? I'm starting to feel like my overtaxed brain is shredding and I fear hysteria. We'll work on Motherhood later this week. There are so many reasons that a mother might become a dithering idiot (if she survives the wedding night) that I am concerned you will miss dinner if you continue to read.

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Oh - one post script: The good doctor observed that the women of the working class were not prone to rampant hysteria as are the leisure class for whom he wrote this book. Can I just say one thing to the young women who had nothing better to do than to listen to their hearts beat and count their respiration's per minute? Get a job or a hobby that includes distracting noise.

Alright - one more post script: Spanish law required a body be produced in order for an estate to be granted to the heirs. As happened with many of the souls lost with the Titanic, Victor's body was never recovered. A concerned brother of Pepita spoke with those involved with the recovery of the dead. Money exchanged hands, and voila! The remains of one of the unidentified male passengers became Victor. Pepita, the widow, received her inheritance.