Saturday, March 14, 2009

Saturday Salubrious Signs - Sagittarius



Sagittarius


Sagittarius Horoscope for March 14:


If you have been losing confidence in your intuitive powers, your faith in them will be restored by an offhand comment someone makes later in the day (you knew they were going to say that!). This episode of de ja vu will put you back in touch with your gut, and you will be ready to predict what's coming down the road for you and your family members. Don't be surprised if you sense big changes. And listen to your gut when an invitation comes your way late in the day. Saying 'no' might be the best path.
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Don't kid yourself - Carnac The Magnificent was not a Sagittarius
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An unpleasant level of workplace stress could spur you to overeat but you must resist this impulse if you want to emerge from this tense period with your health and sanity intact. Say no to the double chocolate doughnut bites! Reject the friend candy bars! If you want a snack, try a carrot -- it's good for you and the chewing motion will relieve jaw tension! And listen to your gut when an invitation comes to you late in the day. Saying No might be the best path.

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Saggitarians have some sense of direction

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Your Real Advice:

Don't worry about being intuitive because my intuition says you're not. If you have any sense of de ja vu at all it's only because you're so busy reading travel magazines and art auction house catalogues that everyone has to tell you everything twice. Of course it sounds familiar!
Like the 2nd time Veronica Saltstein had to ask you to hand her some toilet paper under the stall. You're all "Ver-on-ih-cah! I knew you were going to ask me for that cuz I have ESPN." Veronica, in the meantime is all "Just hand me the paper you idjit and it better not be a page of that magazine you're reading in there."

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Stand on Your Own Two Feet, Sagittarius.

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And put a little poison on that arrow of yours.

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And that's where the second paragraph comes in. Everyone is stressing you out with their uppity attitudes and snorting at your claims of mystical powers and the next thing you know you are shuffling through your purse for one of those S'more flavored power bars. Did you see where it said to resist those urges?


These are hard times, Saggi! Why should you deprive yourself. If you have enough loose change at the bottom of your purse go get yourself some of those Sno-Ball cakes out of the vending machine. Give the aforementioned carrots to Veronica. She needs them more than you do.

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And that final sentence - say no to an invitation? Hello ! At least find out if they're buying first. Nothing tastes better to a Sagittarius than a free meal - except maybe the dessert after.

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A street for Saggitarians


15 comments:

Mim said...

Boston street sign!!! Hurray

soulbrush said...

roflol, i hope you are going to do aquarians soon...can't wait...
thanks so much for the orient express extravaganza, i was so busy working i couldn't fully join in, but loved reading all the comments.
see my blog for a new award 'sister'.

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

Guess I should have been a Saggi and not a Taurus since I enjoy Traditional Archery?! [lol] This was hilarious. I'm so enjoying this going thru the Zodiac. Hope y'all have a non-poisonous tipped day in Florida. [snort] ♥ ∞

MuseSwings said...

Mim! I had no idea - thanks for the geographical update.

Soulbrush - everybody gets to have their day in horoscope land but the anti-Virgo in me will not allow me to do them in order. Award??? I'll be right over!

Hahaha - I hope your day is non poison tipped too Spark!

Rudee said...

I used to date a Sagittarius. He was beautiful, if a little preoccupied with himself. Your interpretation nailed him.

Janeen said...

Oh Dairy Queen, I'll have a cherry cordial blizzard please!

MuseSwings said...

Mmmm - that sounds like a plan, Janeen - meet you there in 5 minutes.

lmerie said...

Looking for the Aquarius - or Capricorn - Jan 20th - I have seen it on both lists. Must mean I am confused! haha

now you have me craving a peanut buster parfait!! Good thing I am too tired to go back out!

Lavinia said...

Speaking as a Sag, I have to say I was nodding in sage recognition throughout most of this post. However, you lost me at the carrot-munching part! Gimme those double choco donuts any day... Travel and auction house catalogues..that's just scary, have you been snooping through my night table?? Uncanny!

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

The signs are hysterical, lol!!
I love the "Social Hazard".....he kinda looks like one (boy, I hope that's no one that you know for goodness sakes because I'm just kidding. Kind of...)

Steady On
Reggie Girl

MuseSwings said...

Imerie - I put all the signs in a hat and have the Mister pick one each week. Ya just never know who's next

Lavinia - it's a bit scary isn't it...Mwahahahaha! You mean the night table you posted on your blog? that night table? I might have seen it...

Meno - I swiped the pic from Flickr - but even if he was someone I know - well, he deserves whatever he gets.

Loida of the 2L3B's said...

Glad to see this, I'm a Sagittarian.. and my hubby too.. Thanks for sharing..

Jeanne said...

Too funny!

Lavinia said...

Free meal? To a Sag, that's like hitting the jackpot at a Las Vegas slot machine!

MuseSwings said...

It tastes twice as good too! Especially since you are prone to choose the lobster instead of the BLT since it's free!