Thursday, March 5, 2009

Ruth-less!

Ruthie and Bernie $mirking because that glass of wine they're drinking costs more than your house.



While you and I are clipping coupons and wondering where our next Starbucks is coming from, Ruth Madoff, the completely innocent bystander to husband Bernie's Ponzi scheme, is just trying to make do with what is left of her money.
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She should be okay for a few weeks, because she took $15,ooo,ooo. (look at all them zeros!!) out of one of their securities accounts just days before Bernie did his perp walk and was sent to the slammer - er I mean back to his NY luxury apartment - for defrauding 14,000 investors of their savings, retirement and walking around money. Quite the psychic, I would say. Just woke up one morning and said Why I think I'll take my really big Versace bag down town and get me some cash for the weekend.
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Lots of room for cash in this one.
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Ruth want's to keep the $7,000,000 NY apartment. Plus $62,000,000 that she says belongs to her, the completely innocent bystander.
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I don't know about you, but I'm thinking Ruth should try to pull herself together here and maybe go live in some HUD housing project for a few years. See what it's like to shower with a plastic shower curtain sticking to your right leg while you're trying to shave. Experience the delight of a 13 inch TV screen that only gets local channels. Maybe have Friday night BBQ's on the front lawn with her neighbors the drug dealers and gang members. Go get a $17 pedicure at You Nails Look Divine and sit in the broken chair that pounds you on the middle of your back so you burp every 3 minutes while you read a December 2007 People Magazine and keep mumbling stuff at the outdated pictures like I know that, I know that, that baby is 2 years old now, they're divorced already, she's gained all that weight back and then some..... Maybe do some shopping at the Dollar Store. Why there's an opportunity for her to shine - she could buy the entire place out - everything - right down to the little cans of cocktail wieners and lacy pink paper placemats. But I could be wrong here. She is probably totally innocent after all. Didn't have a clue where all that money was coming from. Can't understand why she hasn't been invited out for afternoon tea with her lady friends. Oh, that's right. They can't afford to buy tea.

18 comments:

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Makes you sick doesn't it? What the hell???????
If I think about it for too long, it makes me a little.....I don't know, angry?
People losing jobs and then this piece of work woman (I ain't gonna call her a lady, you know?).
Arrggg.........

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Debby said...

I really believe that they should end up with money only if there is money left over from paying back their investors. Period. Sorry about Ruthie's luck, but really, when you marry, it's for better, for worse, for richer and for poorer. I seriously doubt that they'll ever be poor. She can always sell a piece of jewelry, or Bernie can hock a watch.

Lavinia said...

Sickening.

Martha said...

They both should publically flogged. Great Post, Musie.

Rudee said...

You know Muse, sarcastic wit was just what the doctor ordered for me today. Thanks for being my provider of choice.

Betsy said...

This would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad! You really have a gift for writing, Cindy!

lmerie said...

Love it! Haha, plastic shower curtain - I still have one of those!!!

I agree with Debby, keep what is left after they give back what they stole from the investers. Might as well as sell all those rings - whether she knew it before or not, she knows now, and keeping it might increase her chance of poking her own eye out with one of them . . .

Janeen said...

Probably millions more in the works when the book deal is signed too. I'm boycotting her from my tea parties, unless of course the hostess gift was C*A*S*H.

Linda said...

Yeah, what a pity, right? (see if you can catch the dripping sarcasism)--poor thing, she will have to live like the rest of plastic shower curtain, coupon clipping, sitting in the cold cause can't afford the heat, no eating out, same pocket book, eating soup, trading in her gas guzzling Mercedes for a 30 MPH compact car, struggling to make the mortgage, no drinking Starbucks, law abiding, like me or us regular folks. POOR, POOR, POOR THING. WHAT SHALL SHE DO? ☺

Thanks Muse for making me smile..I feel so much better, LOLOL.

Margaret Ann said...

Another brilliant piece Cynthia...You paint vivid images with your words.

The Crusty Crone said...

Sounds like you've got it down... that you know the experience of trying to survive on little of nothing. Lets put her in a hoopty... a car with duct tape holding the bumpers up and a plastic garbage bag taped over the back window to keep the rain out. She'll be able to experience the heartfelt prayers of a person hoping the car keeps running long enough to get her safely home from her minimum wage job in a convenience store... hoping she doesn't run out of gas. She can be glad the robber/meth-head didn't kill her while grabbing the money from the cash register.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Boggles the mind.

MuseSwings said...

Cheaters make me crazy! Thanks for the input!

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

I'm with Martha up there ... public flogging is the only way to go. It sickens me that such evil is allowed to go on unabated. Sad.
Your post however was extremely funny. I was laughing so hard hubby thought I was having an attack. Gosh, you're clever. You are so right on Li'l Cindi! ♥ ∞

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

It gets me so enraged! I still can't get over the kid gloves treatment Madoff has been receiving -- through him in the slammer already!

I'm following you too -- thanks! :)

dAwN said...

The whole thing is sickening...I have friends who lost half of their retirement to make matters worse.....My friends 80 year old mom lost her life savings three million dollars...and what my friend thought would be her inheritance.

Sandy said...

hahaha, oh I can see it now, running into her in the dollar store one of my favorite places.

crooks, a bunch of crooks they are.

Evelyn Yvonne Theriault said...

I've read this post several times and it still makes me smile - especially your catchy title!
I'm not going to comment on it because I'm a Canadian and I know this is a local issue but I can't help saying - right on in terms of the sentiment!
Evelyn