Dr. West Assesses Stevie Wren's Menopausal Murkiness

Stevie's Brain

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Lavinia Ladyslipper has heroically left her Birdbath's unattended so that she could drag Stevie Wren, aka Stevie the Wren, kicking and screaming into the offices of Dr. West for an assessment of the damage caused to her brain cells by a case of moribund menopause. Stevie, being somewhat delusional, feels that her pre-meno brain was very much as illustrated in the above diagram. Right.

Stevie's Brain on No Drugs Whatsoever

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And Stevie feels her current state is best illustrated by the breakfast of perfectly made scrambled eggs she has stolen from Lavinia.(Did you at least remember to take some oregano along with you?)

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Dr. West first took note of Stevie's attire, and recommended that she loosen the laces on her yellow Hi-Top tennis shoes. He also suggested that she stop wearing babushka's. In public. He noted that today's choice, mauve with likenesses of all the Fist Ladies is tied so tightly under Stevie's chin that her eyes are looking glassy.

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The floaters she has complained incessantly about will be relieved
if she will perhaps consider a hairnet in place of the babushka's which by the way are causing pain in Lavinia's eyes as well.

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The cause of the problems Stevie is experiencing, according to the good Doctor, is constriction of her brain by an overflow of blood that would be better served if allowed to move loosely about in her writing/drawing/cutting/gluing/painting/egg stealing hand.

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This constriction of the brain, mainly in the stem and frontal lobe are causing Stevie to feel wispy and vaporous - which is not to be confused with flatulence, although there's that too.

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The fastest method, and one he highly recommends for de-constriction, is

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Lavinia holding a leech

an application of leeches to the temple. Lavinia is holding a leech for demonstration purposes only. These are not recommended for human consumption.

The next suggestion is copious doses of laudanum. However, the drug cupboard is bare. Dr. West has been dispensing laudanum like soup to the likes of Debby, Betsy, Renee, Martha and Mim and has just the one pint left which he has reserved for Blicky Kitty.

The affected bodily humors, quashed by the constricted blood into a pile of rancid lipids, are the main cause of Stevie's emotional difficulties. These would be best diffused by a lightening up of the overall mood. Dr. West feels that the simple change from the boring box of Spearmint Tic-Tacs that keep rattling around in Stevies voluminous Chinese Red Imitation Coach Bag to one of these

Tweety Bird Pez dispensers may release the humors and bring Stevie back to a state of mind that she (and we) are willing to live with.