Thursday, August 21, 2008

School Bullies: A Chance to Take Them On

Ming the Merciless was a kindergarten bully, I'm sure of it!

Were you bullied at school?
Were you tormented?
Were you pushed around?
Did people swipe stuff from you?
  • Did Kenneth tell you to put your fingers in your desk drawer and you did and then he slammed the drawer on them? Forget you were gullible enough to do it. Duh.

Scut Farcus and his little toady friend

  • Did Mimi throw your new coloring book in the bushes when you gave it to her because she asked if she could look at it? Forget that you knew Mimi was up to no good. And why were you hanging out with her anyway?

  • How 'bout Theresa? Did she swipe your little plastic Humpty Dumpty because your best friend had one and your best friend started hanging out with Theresa and they played Humpty Dumpty together until you went to Theresa's house and she answered the door and you asked to speak with her mother and she said wait a minute and came back to the door and gave you your Humpty Dumpty but it had teeth marks on the left leg?

Beach Bully

  • Did Joey convince you to see if you could throw your mittens over the rail yard fence? And you did. And they went right over the top and by the time you got home you practically had frostbite because for whatever dopey reason you didn't put your hands in your pockets and it was about 40 degrees (that's Fahrenheit) below zero and your mom ran cold water over them until you thawed out and then you got a cup of hot chocolate and got to help make Jello for dinner?

  • Did Anita convince you to stick your foot in the hole in the floor in the abandoned house down the street and you (of course) did and your foot got caught and your mom had to come and save you and she took you home and you got to lay on the sofa and watch Howdy Doody and she made you a cup of hot chocolate?

  • Did Theresa (there's that Theresa again) convince you to stick your tongue on the schoolyard fence when it was (again) (why why why do you insist on hanging out with her?) 4o degrees (that's Fahrenheit) and luckily it only stuck a little but the fence tasted like a dead armadillo?

  • Did Mary Jo and Janelle convince you to play hide and seek and you hid and they didn't seek instead they went to Mary Jo's house and had a snack in the kitchen and you knew because you could see them when you finally decided they weren't coming to find you and you walked home all by yourself?

  • If you had it to do all over, would it happen again? Or would you serve them up for dinner with some fava beans and a fine Chianti?

Here's your chance to find out:

How Many 5 Year Olds Can You Take on In a Fight?


Anonymous said...

Wow, Cynthia - I had no idea you had such an eventful childhood! Of course, it helped you grow up to be a very interesting person ...

MuseSwings said...

Anon, Why yes, yes it did.

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

I didn't have your things, but I had Virginia Stingley that tried to strangle me in kindergarten in the girls bathroom. It kept happening day after day and finally goofy Patty told. My mom marched up to the school and demanded to know why I was being choked. This demanding behavior was very unlike my little sweet mother and it truly impressed me. Why I didn't do something on the first day is bizarre. Of course, though I am still patient to a fault. I guess I wanted friends so bad that I would let them choke me. G O O F Y!!!! Cute post!

MuseSwings said...

Those bullies start early! I'm glad Patty told your mom. It was my mom who told me to march over to Theresa's house and speak to her mother. Taught me to fend for myself and Teresa never bugged me again after that. Thank you for visiting!

Marie Reed said...

Ahhhhhhhh! I peed in my pants in the third grade. I was called Peed Reed for ages!

Sweet Repose said...

Dinner is being served...HA, the lil' bast..ds. I was the tallest kid in class, so I was never bothered much and a tomboy to boot...come on brats, bring it on...The biggest thorn in my side was my lil' brother. A narcasistic bully and still is to this day, we never got along as kids, nor does he get along with people (after they get to know him). It's very sad, but a world of his own making...I stay away.

I did however ask my best friend in high school to trim my long hair...she cut off 6 inches, I did learn many years later about what jealousies do to friendships.


Lavinia said...

ha ha ha ha ha!!! funny!

I was never bullied but I had a scary babysitter once. She took a pen and drew a line on my arm and then told me with glee that I now had ink poisoning and would be dead before my mom got home.

Another time I was playing ouija board and one of my friends insisted on asking the ouija which of us would be the next to die and the ouija spelled out my name! But I KNOW that my evil friend ("frenemy") was pushing the ouija around to the letters of my name I just *know* it!!

MuseSwings said...

Ladies! What traumatic young lives we had! And this was all before YouTube bacame yet another means for bullies (and perverts) to strike out at others.

steviewren said...

In 1st grade Libby Taylor stole my friend Gay Upton. I thought it was tragic and I held it against LT all the way though high school. 49 years later and I still wouldn't bother to speak to her if she was the only other person at a school reunion. But I don't hold a grudge about second grade Rita called me a one had ever said that to me...but still it wasn't as traumatic as the Libby Taylor thing because I can't remember Rita's last name. In 3rd grade Marina Hall invited everyone to her birthday party except me. This must rank higher on the scale of hurt feelings because I can remember her last name too. (Wow, what insights into my damaged psyche.)

Ahhhhh, isn't childhood a wonderful time of life?

MuseSwings said...

Steviewren! It's the last name thingie. You can say the first and last names together in kind of an sneery evil tone. You just don't get the same effect with less than 4 syllables.
Yeah - I wouldn't still be mad at Rita either. That was just an opportunity to hear a new forbidden word, really. Those other two though.... I'll help you take 'em on.

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

BTW, I am Patty. When I was a little girl that was all I was called. I became Trish when I became a teenager. My family still can't get the whole Trish thing, so to them I am Patty. :) just a little trivia.

MuseSwings said...

Trish! I was Cindi until 1984 when I decided I wanted to be called Cynthia. It's a perfectly nice name and I feel much more comfortable with it. My family still calls me Cindi - as do my pre-1984 friends. I'd prefer Trish over Patty too.