Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Mystery Solved!

Daughter Jennifer informed me that the unidentified hairy thing pictured in yesterday's post(probably still sitting on the ledge outside my lawyer's office in Tampa) is a mat. (see yesterday's picture.) Jennifer's wealth of worldly knowledge far exceeds mine. For example, she is the one who introduced me to the phrase BFE! A useful description that I now employ when I have to park at the far end of a parking lot or go to some obscure location - like Fred Howard Park. It's much faster to just say I have to go to BFE. Here are two examples I have used recently: 1)Yes, young man, I do need assistance with my groceries. I was forced to park in BFE. 2) I do not know how to get to Fred Howard Park. That park is located in BFE which is near Tarpon Springs."

As for the mat, if anyone else in the world other than me has been enlightened by this hitherto unbeknowenst mystery object, it is apparently used to add savoir faire to a hairdo. AKA a do. It appears I have been giving people undeserved credit for having their own personal hair on their heads. I was very surprised to find out that some employ the assistance of giant false eyelashes to enhance their hairstyles. Case in point: Dolly Parton, Cher and not Donald Trump (although it might be an improvement).
I may be wrong here, but it appears that Cher has 243 mats glued to her head in this picture.
I had an absolute torrent of 2 replies to my Who What Where When and Why game! I supplied the clue to the correct answers in the comments section of that blog. The clue is: read Chris' reply. Her answers are correct! Good job. If you would like a prize, Chris, I will drive back over to Tampa and get that mat for you.

I received another e-mail regarding an offer of money this morning! It seems a lovely christian woman is sitting on her deathbed in a hospital somewhere in the United Kingdom(BFE perhaps?) pecking away on her laptop, and trying to unload a large, but unspecified, amount of cash before she conks off. I must reply quickly. With my bank account number and other important personal information so that she may send it to me for my personal enjoyment. If I choose not to reply this vast fortune will revert to the government. I have decided to let it go to Queen Elizabeth so that she might purchase some new tea things.

And here I was, not believing that chain-letter e-mail that arrived 2 weeks ago. It said if I send it to 10 of my friends within 24 hours I will be the recipient of money. I sent it out as quickly as I could scrape up the names of 10 people and here I sit being offered tons of cash from all over the world. Yesterday the Congo, today the United Kingdom! Why just last week I found that $5 in the Albertson's parking lot. All this! Just when my 401K is starting to smell like a dead armadillo!

I think I'll go over to Albertson's for a while. I'll just sit in the parking lot and wait for people to drop money on the ground. Thank you for visiting my blog!


Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

Another amusing post. I heartily endorse your generosity toward the queen, Lord knows she probably hasn't changed her tea things since Victoria's day. And how clumsy of Charles and Camilla to always be dropping the sugar bowl!

I see the money is raining down upon you, and soon you'll be richer than Croesus...

p.s. Your daughters are lovely!

MuseSwings said...

Lavinia! I can always depend on you to leave a comment on an otherwise deserted space! Yes, I too am concerned about the Queen's tea things. Perhaps she will confer with us before selecting a pattern! I loved looking in your china cabinet! I, being more undependable than you, neglected to leave a comment. Thank you for sharing!