You have hit on pay dirt today! I was cleaning off a shelf and discovered a bottle of genuine, hand dipped - by the Mister, no less - water from The Fountain of Youth in St. Augustine, Florida.
This bottle has been sitting in the same spot, on the same shelf for no less than 14 years.
As shown in the picture the bottle, once filled to the top, is now half full - or half empty - depending which side of the bi-polar pendulum we are swinging from today. You may want to suggest that some of the water has evaporated, I prefer to think of it as ultra-concentrated. To prove it's value, I used 1 drop of this water today. You will notice that my profile picture has changed from this:
To this:
Need I say more?If you would like to have the remote opportunity of owning this coveted half full (or half empty) bottle of Genuine Fountain of Youth water you need only leave a comment. Tell me what you think it might do for you!
You can see what it did to me. Like it or not.
The springy curled picture taken at age 6 was, until today, on the original strip of 4 Kindergarten photos which tells a touching story about just how many of the original 8 Mother Dear shared with the relatives.
The little strip of toothless Muses has served me well over the last 57 years. I keep it on a box of family pictures - pre- marriage -. My brothers and sisters and I like to shuffle through the pics on occasion and laugh ourselves into a stupor. About the time we are all sobbing, snorting and trying to catch our breath, these pictures emerge and cause Mary to scream STOP STOP I CAN'T BREATHHHHHH...STOOOOPPPPP.
A few years ago, a cousin, and I won't mention his name but his initials are Philip, was looking at the pics and said to me: You look like a boy with a wig on. Sent the family into near death spasms of hilarity. We've always been a very complimentary and ego bolstering family.
I just may send the winner a picture too - what am I going to do with 4?
So, leave a comment letting me know just what this elixir might do for you. I will choose a winner one week from today at about 12:00 noon EDT. I should be out of bed by then. The winner will be announced Tuesday, October 28.
.JPG)
30 comments:
This was fun to read..hahaha.
You know, we always maintained that my Dad's side of the family had already found the Fountain of Youth. My mother's side hasn't always been as fortunate, so I need to be prepared. I'm sure I could use any drops you can spare. This should combat alopecia, varicose veins, prolapsed stomach, and the dry-eye syndrome that wakes me up screaming, periodically.
Kat
P.S. Thanks Cynthia for the lovely postcard with the Autumn leaves and your wonderful poem. (I just got it today).
You could always put a few drops in your bra and maybe you wouldn't need the underwire anymore! tee-hee!
What can I say, muse-swings, I need that bottle like a fish needs a bicycle. I've got this curse of looking freakishly young, and the older I get, the younger I look. People think I'm outright lying when I tell them my age. They get all hostile and stuff on me. So, truthfully I cannot request this bottle. HOWEVER, because it's FREE, you will therefore find me pushing and shoving everybody else out of the way in the scramble to get it so sign me up! I'll leave it in a conspicuous spot in my house and drive visitors crazy with the wondering if *thats* my secret...
You know the other problem people like me have, is when we finally *do* strike *age* the howls of gleeful satisfaction of onlookers are quite, shall we say, audible.
My dear Cynthia, Please sign me up for this contest. I need mucho help. Remember I have a husband that's 13 years younger than me and unlike Lavinia, I look my age. I'm thankful, but if you could send me some drops of your potion it might get me back on the right track. I don't want to be greedy and go all the way back to early youth, but how I looked in the early 70's might be fun. Well, those days are long gone. I'm so thankful to be here among the living after this past weekend and I must say you always make me laugh.
ME, ME, Me! If this fabulous genuine bottled youth drink would help me revert back to my teenage years it would avert my need of lap-band surgery, since I was slim-pickings in those days. The added bonus would be that my long thick tresses that made grown men cry would also be restored. (now I just cry when I see all my hair clogging up the shower drain) ME, ME, ME! Pick ME!
I have to wonder, Stevie wren, if it really was your long thick tresses that made grown men cry, or if it was actually the fact that at the end of an evening with you they'd be missing their wallet, their Rolex watch, and their heirloom ivory and diamond cufflinks.
Not to say your hair wasn't gorgeous, it was and it still is. I'm just saying. You know.
Nanatrish, we are all thankful to be amidst the land of the living, and we are all very thankful that you are here with us too!
Ladies! Ladies (clap clap) Ladies! Straighten up that line! Try to maintain some decorum here while the contest runs.
Lavinia - I do have to say one thing in Stevie's defence - It's either/or with her dates. Either the wallet OR the rolex Or the ring. She takes all three at first just to determine which is the best option - you know, like all those fake Rolex's floating around chinatown like a drunk pigeon.
Trish - I am pleased that you have recovered from the cold that Lavinia probably gave you.
Museswings, the springy curl gap toothed picture of innocence is affecting your streed cred here. You're making me feel all bad, like I'm swearing in front of a child or something!!! Sheesh, now I gots to be careful what I say!
Oh, I would bathe Edward in it so that he would live to be 90!
Well you know our old kitteh named Blicky,
When he looked in the mirror felt Icky,
There was a droop to his tail,
Once perky and hale,
But he realized he couldn't be picky.
Then the Muse's song came to our friend,
"This bottle all troubles will end,
With a laugh and a jump,
You'll admire your rump,
And no longer need to pretend."
Now he really is loathe to be pushy,
Groveling and getting all mushy,
While returning to ten,
Would bring pimples again,
He really would love a new tushie!
Oh, I love Blicky's poem.
I will not compete. I know myself. No self control. I'd swig down the bottle and go back in time, back, back, and the next thing you know, I'm but a twinkle in my father's eye, my last conscious thought being, "NOOOOOOOOOO! I never meant to repeat my teenage years!!!!!!!"
No. I'm so good at math, I'd make a mistake calculating the dosage, and get myself in all sorts of trouble.
Mmmmm, 28th day before my #~^# birthday is reason enough. Then if i really pull at the OLD emotions, just out of hospital shortly to go back Arrrr....
The think to really crack it, my childhood photos mum always trimmed my fringe just before, need I say more about being the cause for the loudest laughs in our family, bigger Arrrrrr!!!!!
Of course if there is someone out there more desperate than me, they have my blessing to sip on the bottle youth....
i have 3,48576,594837,9976 half full bottles on my shelf, and try each one 3647859,68463524,8474645 times a week, and ...'sigh'...still nothing....
Lavinia, perhaps if YOU win, you might consider a Time Share? Of course I can't guarantee that a few drops won't get "spilled".
Kat
Poetikat, okay, I might consider a time share, you mean like sharing the bottle? Oh sure, if the price is right...special discount for bloggy friends!!
Hope I don't run out of Oil of Oy Vey before then.
Kat
OH darn, I thought you were offering a bottle of red wine, the other youth in a bottle. Oh hum, sigh! Just think of it, then we'd be young again and drink it with a plate of carbs - like spaghetti and garlic bread!
Maybe even splitting up the prize would be a good idea. Some of us would be tickled even to look 10 years younger. I wouldn't be greedy. How can you ship little vials around the world to all of us? Then we'd be in People magazine and we could all go on the circuit showing everyone our before and after pics. It could maybe take people's minds off the economy and their 401Ks dwindling down to nothing. Youth is wasted on the young. Or did someone say that before?
Ladies (rap rap rap) May I have your attention please. One moment. A little decorum, please.
Lavinia, quit arm wrestling Poetikat for that time share! Yer gonna chip her nail polish!
Pamela and Poeticat have put pets first over people! Now that is admirable, wouldn't you say?
Deb - if you win, you could always sell it on E-bay
Queenie (handing out Kleenex all around) Your story is so..so. sob ..it could work for you....snert. I'm so glad you are well enough to visit!
Time share, Poetikat, is a grand idea. You could have everyone over to your blog and we could all put a few drops on our necks. Just getting that back in order would be a huge improvement for me!
Janeen - I might suggest pouring the bottle into a bottle of red wine - or leave the wine alone and boil the pasta (au dente) in the FoY water.
Trish - if you win, you're good to go - if Poetikat wins she may at least share a drop or two...
I've decided that I need the elixir because I wish to live two full lives. The current, childless one that allows me to pursue my selfish dreams, and the harried and haggard one that involves birthing the little beasties that all the mommies out there worry and grow grey hair over, living thankless lives to selflessly feed, clothe, bathe and take to thousands of sports practices and guitar lessons, and spend my retirement putting through college only to have them live with me until they are 30 and then find some bitch girlfriend who takes him away and never visits me on Sundays. Stupid bitch girlfriend.
So anyway, I want that.
Nanny - Find some harried parent and just volunteer for the job. You'd be up to your armpits in kids in no time. Of course, you'd end up with the evil ones first. You'd have to exorcise them. But once you tamed 'em, you'd be good to go. Just a suggestion, in case, you don't get the bottle.
I'd like even half the bottle to take me back (with all my current knowledge of course!) to my teen years. I'd have made so many changes....
Nanny G - Bwahahaha - I'm still laughing at you Jehova Goatnesses and now this. Practically choked on a bite of toast. I hate that stupid girlfriend of his too.
True, true, Debbie - She'll probably end up raising that stupid girlfriend for someone elses kid to marry.
Bibi - those teen years! I'm waiting until there is a complete cure for all the teen ailments: stupidity, pimples, wanting their own car, ...stuff like that.
You are such a trip! Where DO you get your ideas girl?! [har dee har]
Well, thanks for the offer gee whize I don't think I need the elixer. No one can tell how old I am under my helmet anyway. (See why I'm a motorcyclist NOW!!?? There's a method to my madness after all!) [roflol]
((Hugs)) from Gawga ♥ ∞
Nice to have you back Sparky! Hugs to you to! You could use the elixer on your motorcycle! It will stay new forever. Waddya think? I'll be by to read your adventures a little later today - actually been accomplishing some household tasks!
Museswings, if you do decide to send little vials to all the corners of the world, maybe we can all get on Oprah! (Or you'll be featured as woman's greatest philanthropist and we can all be guests.)
Kat
Sounds like a plan! We'll make sure we are guests on one of her really good give-away days!
I can see it did wonder for you!
Had to laugh about your story , thanks for wanting to share your fountain of youth, but I would keep it if I were you. I know with my favorite lipsticks etc they are always discontinued when I want to buy new! (I don't like that at all)
Post a Comment