Snow Bird Migration

Snow Bird

~~~

O wide vagabond upon the southbound lanes
Pull portly into The Flying T RV
When daylight wanes
And expel thy good wife
From the driver's seat
‘Tis time to fill thy tank with gas and eat

Whit Waltman - Poet Laureate of the AARP







They're heeeere! It's that special time of year when the senior citizens of Canada and the northern United States slip into the drivers seats of their Winnebagos and clog up I-75 from Mackinac Michigan and parts south.

The first signs of their arrival are a sprinkling of massive RV's, each with an auto in tow and 2 three wheeled bikes strapped to the roof. They drive 25 MPH in a 55 with their left turn signal flashing away.

Then you begin to spot signs of Mercury Grand Marquis parked in eclectic positions in the general direction of a parking space.






When you are completely surrounded with Mercury Grand Marquis with out of town license plates you know you're in for a long winter. You'll see out-the-door lines at every Denny's, Red Lobster and Sam Seltzers. But since you'd never step foot in any of those restaurants you're safe.

Signs start popping up - things to do and places to go at special senior citizen prices.

Your own favorite ethnic restaurant will start advertising tantalizing blue plate specials.

And fashion takes a giant leap backwards




Go to your polling place on November 6th at 6:25 AM in an attempt to avoid the crush and get to work on time and these two will be in line in front of you. They've already stopped for breakfast and they've done a little shopping at the 24 hr K-Mart. They'll be back on the road in time to clog up rush hour traffic.
.

Another sign of the arrival of the snowbirds is abandoned shopping carts. The senior gentleman pictured above wearing the ever fashionable sandals with brown (or black - or taupe) dress socks will walk to the grocery store, purchase 1 box of chicken soup mix, a tangerine and a small jar of instant coffee. To save himself from exhaustion he - or the Missus- will snag a shopping cart, take their purchases most of the way home and then dump the cart. The following morning, they will walk past the abandoned cart, on their way to the grocery store where they will buy 1 box of prunes, a pear and a tin of Pringles. They will then follow the same procedure as the previous day. They leave them....

Here

There

And

Everywhere


Leaves on Grass

by Whit Waltman

When autumn leaves doth fall to lie

sprightly on yon grass
then I shall get my a**

to Pinellas County by and by