The Effect of Unsolicited Faxes on Super Volcanoes

Don't let this serene view of Yellowstone fool you.





I know I said I would get on the super volcano report first thing in the morning, but I was scheduled to help out at the church office this morning.

One of the things that kept me there later than expected was an attempt to stop unsolicited faxes from several companies. If you want to stop unsolicited faxes you have to follow the instructions at the bottom of the unsolicited fax form. It's usually typed in .003 font size, so first you have to locate a magnifying glass. Then your choices are to call an 800#, or send an e-mail or fax the form back. I called one # and the guy said "I'm kinda busy right now, can you e-mail me? It is SO impolite to say the f word when you are calling from the church office. Anyway that activity delayed my volcano reporting.

The news people do that to you all the time. You should be used to it. First thing in the morning they say things like "10 things that could kill you by lunchtime. Report, tonite at 11:00." Or they say "Meteor hurtling towards earth, tune in on Thursday for evacuation instructions."


So a late report on a volcano is not going to kill you. There are other things out there that take priority. Driving on US 19 for one.


Those of you who watch the Discovery Channel are probably already aware that there is a SUPER VOLCANO right in the middle of Yellowstone National Park. First let me explain that when a super volcano erupts it will make Mt. St. Helen and even Krakatau look like a barbecue gone bad. It will cover the US in about 3 feet of ash, so stock up on vacuum cleaner bags now. You'll need about 647 of them.

The volcano is called the Yellowstone Caldera and the location is Wyoming. That seems innocent enough. How many of us have ever been to Wyoming? How many of us could even find it on the map. Try this game. See if you can find Wyoming: United States Game. If you can, stay away from it. And all surrounding states from Illinois to California.


The Yellowstone Caldera is an EXPLOSIVE caldera. This means it will not simply ooze lava like the Hawaii calderas do. The volcano has erupted at least three times; 2.1 million years ago, 1.3 million years ago and 640,00 years ago. If you've ever waited in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles you will understand the time span between eruptions better than those of us who get our renewals on line. You do the math. We are due for an eruption starting anytime within the next 100 years. When it blows, everything goes.

It is not dependant on it's own personal activity, either. For example, eathquakes in Alaska and California can affect the geothermal and seismic activity at Yellowstone. It's similar to someone dropping a lunchbox on the other side of your wobbly 3rd grade lunch table which causes your hard boiled egg to roll unto the floor.


The magma under the Yellowstone Caldera is only about 3 to 6 miles below the surface and recent uplift caused by magma injections have caused uplift and subsidence (this means it goes back down) in the caldera. The magma is under intense pressure, and a runaway chain reaction could cause it to explode. The US Geological Survey has classified Yellowstone as a high-threat system. None of them vacation there.

So, I'm just saying. Keep an eye out for those "more at 11:00 PM" news reports. If they mention the word Yellowstone, take that dream trip to Europe you've always wanted and plan on staying for 10 or 15 years. When Yellowstone does explode, if you are not lucky enough to be among the expected 1.5 million casualties, you can still forget about planting petunias. The high density of ash in the atmosphere will lower earth temperature for several years causing global hunger and winter coat shortages.