Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Effect of Unsolicited Faxes on Super Volcanoes

Don't let this serene view of Yellowstone fool you.

I know I said I would get on the super volcano report first thing in the morning, but I was scheduled to help out at the church office this morning.

One of the things that kept me there later than expected was an attempt to stop unsolicited faxes from several companies. If you want to stop unsolicited faxes you have to follow the instructions at the bottom of the unsolicited fax form. It's usually typed in .003 font size, so first you have to locate a magnifying glass. Then your choices are to call an 800#, or send an e-mail or fax the form back. I called one # and the guy said "I'm kinda busy right now, can you e-mail me? It is SO impolite to say the f word when you are calling from the church office. Anyway that activity delayed my volcano reporting.

The news people do that to you all the time. You should be used to it. First thing in the morning they say things like "10 things that could kill you by lunchtime. Report, tonite at 11:00." Or they say "Meteor hurtling towards earth, tune in on Thursday for evacuation instructions."

So a late report on a volcano is not going to kill you. There are other things out there that take priority. Driving on US 19 for one.

Those of you who watch the Discovery Channel are probably already aware that there is a SUPER VOLCANO right in the middle of Yellowstone National Park. First let me explain that when a super volcano erupts it will make Mt. St. Helen and even Krakatau look like a barbecue gone bad. It will cover the US in about 3 feet of ash, so stock up on vacuum cleaner bags now. You'll need about 647 of them.

The volcano is called the Yellowstone Caldera and the location is Wyoming. That seems innocent enough. How many of us have ever been to Wyoming? How many of us could even find it on the map. Try this game. See if you can find Wyoming: United States Game. If you can, stay away from it. And all surrounding states from Illinois to California.

The Yellowstone Caldera is an EXPLOSIVE caldera. This means it will not simply ooze lava like the Hawaii calderas do. The volcano has erupted at least three times; 2.1 million years ago, 1.3 million years ago and 640,00 years ago. If you've ever waited in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles you will understand the time span between eruptions better than those of us who get our renewals on line. You do the math. We are due for an eruption starting anytime within the next 100 years. When it blows, everything goes.

It is not dependant on it's own personal activity, either. For example, eathquakes in Alaska and California can affect the geothermal and seismic activity at Yellowstone. It's similar to someone dropping a lunchbox on the other side of your wobbly 3rd grade lunch table which causes your hard boiled egg to roll unto the floor.

The magma under the Yellowstone Caldera is only about 3 to 6 miles below the surface and recent uplift caused by magma injections have caused uplift and subsidence (this means it goes back down) in the caldera. The magma is under intense pressure, and a runaway chain reaction could cause it to explode. The US Geological Survey has classified Yellowstone as a high-threat system. None of them vacation there.

So, I'm just saying. Keep an eye out for those "more at 11:00 PM" news reports. If they mention the word Yellowstone, take that dream trip to Europe you've always wanted and plan on staying for 10 or 15 years. When Yellowstone does explode, if you are not lucky enough to be among the expected 1.5 million casualties, you can still forget about planting petunias. The high density of ash in the atmosphere will lower earth temperature for several years causing global hunger and winter coat shortages.


Anonymous said...

With regard to the article about unsolicited faxes, the FCC had ruled that you (the receiver) of an unsolicited fax, should not ever call, write or email the sender with your fax number simply because the sender was violating the law by sending you those faxes. Likewise, you stand a very likely and possible chance of not removing your number but rather adding it to the fax broadcasters list and you stand a real good chance you will only increase the number of faxes you get in the future.

Think of it this way, no one with a gun is allowed to shoot you. Would you go tell every person you knew that carried a gun that you don't want to be shot?

The real legal way to stop the unwanted faxes is to sue the sender. Not only will the faxes stop, you can/ will make several thousand bucks for your trouble.

MuseSwings said...

Excellent advice - thank you for taking the time to respond. I'll look into this further!

steviewren said...

Too funny! I hate to come home from work and find another telemarketer call on my answering machine with the message "if you don't want to receive this message press 3." What good will that do me?

Hey, check my blog out...I've challenged you!

Marie Reed said...

You crack me up! I love your offbeat and funny writing style. It keeps me wanting more!

MuseSwings said...

Stevie and Marie! Thanks for popping in! If you see any good sales on vacuum cleaner bags, please let me know. Got your challange Stevie. It sounds like fun - except now "How Much is that Doggie in the Window (arf arf) is stuck in my head.


Poetikat said...

Cynthia, I'm tagging you for a song-meme. Stop by my blog for details.


MuseSwings said...

Thanks! I was also tagged by Steviewren. I'm thinking of some songs. They're getting stuck in my head. The Mister will think I've gone daft. Well daft-er!

Sandy said...

Fascinating and fun read!! I don't want to stay away darn it, its' so beautiful. One of these days maybe I'll get to take a trip and see just a little of it up close.

nanatrish said...

I better run out and get some vaccuum bags. I do not like the heat so I know to stay away from there now. Thank you for the important information. Did we make it erupt with global warming? You are a very creative writer. Thanks for your visits to my blog. you are always welcome back. trish

MuseSwings said...

Sandy and Trish! Good to see you!

Sandy, if you want to go to Yellowstone, go now, but don't get too close to Old Faithful.

Nana Trish, vacuum bags and some really good dust cloths - I forgot to mention those.

LL said...

I remember watching a documentary years and years ago about how volcanoes posed the greatest threat to human life on earth. Gave me the willies, even though I am thousands of miles away from the nearest one. I've been on the alert ever since!

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