Thursday, October 9, 2008

Case Closed!

Just moments ago this confession appeared on the AP:





Oh My Gosh, I CONFESS....I DID IT. I masterminded the whole kit and kaboodle. Here's what really happened. On the night in question I went to the sauna at the fabulously famous Cortina ski resort to relax and show off my new white towel in front of those jealous types who hang around such places waiting for the other muffin to drop or some such twaddle to be tattled. While in the locker room, I happened to notice a wad of paper. Debris some cloddish, gauche litter bug had tossed onto the floor.


Being the upright citizen of the world that I am, I naturally retrieved the waste and deposited it into the pocket of my slacks, leaving it in the locker whilst I retreated to the sauna for an hour of cleansing sweat. Really, I don't see what the big deal is. Just because the Padparadscha Sapphire happened to be inside that wad of trash, just because I didn't turn their precious bauble in when I discovered it, just because I happened to make a bracelet out of it, just because I cook and sew with it, just because I've been photoed with the stone more times than Bebbers has had his little mug photographed....I've been unjustly accused of stealing it!I mean, come on...I rescued it from the trash....I saved it from being destroyed...I saved something beautiful from total annihilation. I should be hailed as a hero, not tracked down like a common criminal!





So now that I've confessed you can call off the dogs. Clousseau and Sherlock can go home. ps The tattoo and the cordoned off swimming pool were just red herrings to throw youse sleuths off my tracks.


pss The frogman can stay. He's cute.



Signed

Steviewren

*****************
Being the inveterate, (or is it invertebrate?) crafts person, Stevie fashioned these lovely earrings from her fingerprint chart while in the hoosegow. She bribed the matron with them and is now at large.


Case closed. Move along.

16 comments:

Blicky Kitty said...

Ho! Case closed? I've missed the fun once again. I was off in Marakesh for a few days to find a new Arabian for my stable.

I met a mysterious green-eyed gentleman there who fed me grapes and honied treats and spoke only arabic dialect. He kept mumbling something about a counterfeit jewel...

Laurel/Blicky

Lavinia said...

BLicky! Who is this mysterious gentleman and what *else* did he do? Inquiring minds want to know. Please, do a post and do tell more...

MuseSwings said...

Blicky we must know more ...everything....every detail....did he....?

And how is that new Arabian working out? Is he keeping the stable clean? The horses fed?

nanatrish said...

Very interesting! What could possibly happen next?

Lavinia said...

Cynthia, I just want to say, that this entire escapade has shown me how strong our frenemyship really is. I mean, during all the time that the chips were down and we were pointing fingers at each other and I ratting on you and jumping up and down with glee at the thought of you doing 20 years in Sing Sing, I still, despite all that, always held you in the highest regard and esteem. So no hard feelings? Are we still the best of frenemies?! huh? huh?

steviewren said...

You all are invited over to my new Etsy shop 'Jail Birdie Crafts' to order genuine jailhouse finger print earrings. Be sure to get em while they're hot!

MuseSwings said...

Lavinia - frenemys is a wonderful word! I like it, and yes, I say you in solitary confinement or hanging with Maudy Dermine during all of our investigating, but you know, I'm absolutely delighted that you are free to crusade with me against non tea partiers and the National No Picnicers of Bohemia. We are off to other adventures and I am hangin' with you! Best of frenemies!

Nana Trish - you never know! Be prepared for a blogercoaster ride into the unknown!

Nana - I just LOVE those earrings - I'll stop by and see just what you have done with those DNA cards and the shell casings - you are sooooo talented!!!!! Thank you for another adventurous day! And also for pleading guilty so we could send the detectives off to where they are really needed.

Stay tuned, everyone the game is afoot!

MuseSwings said...

Blicky, I must continue to call you Blick even though you have a perfectly lovely name. The Blick must stick.

MuseSwings said...

Oops - not Nana on that last comment - I meant Steviejailhousewren. Sorry I am exhausted from traipsing around Baker St. all day.

Blicky Kitty said...

Well, I first met him while sipping coffee with an old friend in the ancient medina. The air was hot and the breeze was as languid and lazy as my companion's left eye...

I saw him emerge from the souk arrayed in a long black turban. His dark green eyes had the deep penetrating stare of a young Valentino. Here is an anonymous picture that some shot of us: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Valentino_Ayres.jpg

I had little worry of being recognized, but something about his stare made me uneasy... As I got up to go, he wrapped a strong hand around my arm. He said nothing as he stared into my eyes, but pulled aside his outer robe to reveal...

**Oh no, Cynthia this new Arabian is just not going to work out. He's just plunged himself headfirst into the watering trough again and I must go fetch him out.**

Lavinia said...

SPeaking of moving it along, you can remove the hotline number from your sidebar for the missing padchamacallit. Pop over to the birdbath to see what I've done with it!

soulbrush said...

this is not fair!! (stamp feet in rage), you solved it without me.i invited michael caine, twiggy, paul mc cartney, anthony hopkins and emma thompson along for high tea and we delved into the mystery again and again, then we all fell asleep after our last brandies and meanwhile you clever 'dicks' were doing all the work...sigh...elementary my dear frnemies.

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

Whew! Glad that's over! Steviewren will now need to learn how to sing "Jail House Rock" for all the other inmates. ♥ ∞

MuseSwings said...

Blick - what a romantic tale, but I admire you for keeping your pristine character intact and leaving him for the rest of us.

Dry that Arab off - see if he's any good in the kitchen before ditching him.

Ladies, we must all thank Stevie the Wren for taking the rap for us. Must dash off now, I have an appointment with my jeweler....

Lily Hydrangea said...

this is too funny! I love the earings. What a creative sould the criminal is.

MuseSwings said...

Lily! That Stevie she can make anything. Why she can make a mountain out of a mole hill!