Monday, December 29, 2008

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Husband **

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Husband!
Another rerun. Am I lazy or what? I only had 2 readers when this was posted - me and one other person. So read it. Thanks!
June 29, 2008

I know I pick on the Mister a lot. From what you've read, I'm sure you'll agree I'm entitled. He does, however, have several endearing traits. Yes, really!
For one, he's always been Mr. Errand Man. Nothing too small or too embarrassing for the Mister. Like back in the olden day's, if I needed any lady-stuff he had no problem whatsoever going out by himself to make the necessary purchases. I've seen gown men pale at the thought of going into a woman's clothing store, or carry ladies laundry to the dry cleaner. They would never, ever pop into a Walgreen's to pick up lady stuff. Better they should be eaten by a lion then to ask on which aisle the Tampax are located. Not the Mister.
If I get Married I'll Still Be Running Errands. I Just Won't Get Paid.
Any time night or day. Anything. The more embarrassing to the average male the better. I know I've got a gem here.He's not a church going man, but he does attend on Mother's Day, just for me, and on the major Holidays that match his initials : E C. Easter and Christmas. Today I wanted to attend the Baptism of several of our church members. He suggested it might be better if he clean the swimming pool and maybe pop over to Walmart for some paper towels, but I reminded him that the way to Fred Howard Park is a complete never to be unravelled mystery to me. 400 turns and back roads to get to a beach that is only about 7 miles from our house. You go north and end up going south.
They have signs showing the way to the park, but when you come out they don't have any signs showing you how to get back home again. No problem for the Mister. He was more than happy to go with me. No bribes necessary, just the possibility that I might use up a tank of gas coming and going.Yes - we have our baptisms in the Gulf of Mexico - it's a perfect place. I was re-baptised there about 2 1/2 years ago. The Mister came without being asked and took lots of pictures.He is all of a sudden getting iffy on his errand runs.
I Had To Get This Picture Off Of Flickr - We Don't Own Any Of This
It used to be I could run out of Heinz 57 sauce (don't know why I used this for an example. We don't even use the stuff) and he would dust the potato chip crumbs off his turquoise t-shirt, change out of those blue shorts that he is not even allowed to go to the mail box in, and dash off without so much as a sigh. Just in the past few months, however, he has started to balk at errands. Says he doesn't really like popping out for stuff anymore. I told him he cannot change his mind now. No. He's been doing this for 38 years and I'm not even sure how to go about running an errand.
Good Riddance!
I do not know which aisle they keep the Tampax in (don't know why I used this as an example, I don't even use the stuff any more) (Hallelujah and praise the Lord) Don't get me wrong, I've driven all over the state, from Michigan to Florida and traveled to several states on my own. No problem. But those were work related or to visit my family. They weren't to dash out for a quart of milk. He cannot change his mind at this late stage of my life. Batting my eyes doesn't really work anymore - we both just laugh at my efforts at feminine guiles. This is a developing story. I'll let you know how this goes. I think I might need a box of Raisinettes, or maybe some Heinz 57 sauce since we haven't had any in about 32 years.
Thanks for stopping by!


Bibi said...

Well, I read it and I loved it! Laughed, too!

Barely Domestic Mama said...

It's too funny that you told him he can't change his mind on errand running after 38 years! :)

My hubby will help with the errand, but not without a sigh or an annoyed glare from time to time.

Anonymous said...

I am loving these reruns. Great post!

MuseSwings said...

Bibi! You read it? Cool! 3 readers back in June then. Barely and Butter - thanks for supporting my lazy day re-runs.

Linda said...

Thanks for the smile..made my day. (back to having a coughing attack.)

Shellmo said...

Well you'll definitely have more than 2 readers reading this today - lol! My hubby would call your hubby a saint for getting the tampax. The only way i've gotten mine to run an errand is if I include an item that he might want. (for example I hide his shaving cream and say he's out so why doesn't he run out and get it and pick me up some milk, etc. on the way? He still refuses the tampax though.)

MuseSwings said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MuseSwings said...

Very funny, Shelly! All's fair in love and errands. I deleted my previous comment - me fingers were on the wrong keys. Note to self: read the thing before you send it!

soulbrush said...

all together now....yipppppeeeeee, we don't need tampax anymore, or condoms, or feeding bras, or maternity pants!!! yahoo and hallelujah....and as for your hubby, you can send him over the pond to me anyday to run errands for moi.

MuseSwings said...

Soul - you'll be ok as long as Senita and Joe don't skip out and leave you with those "spur" of the moment quads.

Janeen said...

Oh funny as ever! Now look at all the groupies you've got~ fun, fun, fun! Hope your enjoying your holiday vacation!

Martha said...

What a guy the Mister is!

Sweet Repose said...

MMMM...raisinettes...I think it's been 32 years...too funny. Even when I was married for 20 years my errands were always done by me...hey, I'm a Virgo...whatta ya expect!!! ha

Thanks for the mention and award girlfriend! One of these days I'm gonna sneak off to Florida and give ya a holler...

JANE said...

LOVE the bug picture!! The ONLY time big Daddy bought lady stuff was when I had child #3 and could not get out of the house, otherwise he would have croaked!! His idea of a BIG errand, is picking up milk on his way home from work!

Poetikat said...

This was a new post to me! (It's a good one.)

My dad (God rest his soul) was not averse to picking up lady stuff for me. I don't know what's weirder about that - the fact that it was my dad, or the fact that I even asked him to do it. All I know, is that shopping for lady stuff in this day and age is like interpreting the Rosetta Stone. You've got your different sizes, strengths, weights, pretty flowers, pearl-packages, scented/unscented. Gosh! It makes one want to go back to that (OMG I'm soo dating myself here) plastic tabbed belt with the padded horse-blinder secured in between).
Fortunately, I'm in early menopause, so I don't have to wade through the multicoloured, aisles of misery, er mystery anymore!

I'm sure my dad is grateful too.


Dave King said...

Are you sure? I've read it a couple of times. Loved it.

MuseSwings said...

Dave - I'm not so sure at all now...

Kat - your dad deservs a medal! Horse blinders! Hahahaha! You're so right about that. When I accidentally walk past those aisles now I get this really smug look on my face and start skipping and twirling.

Sharon - you'd never know it, but I'm a Virgo too. At least I was until I got married. I've learned to lay a lot of that persnickity Virgo control stuff aside. Probably too much of it. What everrrr.

Janeen I'm a groupie of so many new (to me) blogs myself now that I'm getting glued to my computer! Lots of really great stuff out there!