Thursday, September 4, 2008

Grocery Shopping with the Mister

The Mister and I toddled off to the grocery store today. We have to plan ahead now that our closest store, the ex-Albertson's, is closed. Can't just pop over for a quart of milk today and a tomato tomorrow because the minimum round trip is 8 miles. We've been spoiled.


We have three important shopping rules that we follow diligently:
1) forget the grocery list
2) leave the coupons at home
3) don't buy the most important item

Organization is everything.

Mister is one of those people who only wants to park within three parking spaces of the store. He circles around, circles again and then once more. If he would just drop me off at the door while he finds a space I'd be done shopping before he gets out of the car.

But he doesn't. After about 85 minutes he parks any old place.

What the heck.

Next we play the interactive Reusable Grocery Bag Game. It goes like this ( and I fall for it every time)

The Mister: How many bags should I bring into the store.
.
Cynthia: (considers # of items on list plus 2 bags of M&Ms the Mister invariably slides under the celery when she's not looking) Three
.
TM: Three? Do you think we'll need three?
.
C: Yes. Bring three. (holds up three fingers)
.
TM: I think two will work
.
C: If you know how many we'll need why do you ask me? Don't ask me. (left eye starts twitching)
.
TM: Well, I just think two will work
.
C: Two might be okay - it just depends on how you like your potato chips. Whole or smashed to smithereens. You decide.
.
TM: Alright, alright I'll bring three, but I tell ya, we won't need all of them.
.
C: You're such a minimalist. Don't ask me about bags anymore.
.
TM: (Stops walking and starts patting his pockets.)
.
C: What are you doing?
.
TM: Looking for the shopping list. I think I left it on the table. Did you bring the coupons?
.
C: Shit.

At the checkout The Mister encourages the bagger to keep stuffing things into the first two bags until they bulge to overflowing and something purple starts leaking out of the bottom of one of them. Then he folds the third bag with a flourish and announces for all to hear that two bags are plenty.

At home he locates the shopping list and finds that we did in fact forget to buy the most important item on the list; the press and seal plastic wrap. There's about enough left on the current roll to wrap up a gum ball. Got everything else though - plus two bags of M&Ms



pictures complements of Flickr

M&Ms compliments of the Mister




13 comments:

Marie Reed said...

Yeahhhhh for grocery shopping! This is too funny.. but I am always writing that comment on your blog! They are all hysterical!

Lavinia said...

Once again I think we must be the same person. The amusing bicker bicker that gets the left eye twitching...but my life is much worse....my thoughts tend to 'why did I get out of bed this morning...how can I possibly be related to these people....am I the only one with half a brain cell still working...how can I fake my own death!'

Spotted dick...hmmm...never seen that before....would probably do a double take if I ever saw that in the grocery aisle!

I hope you are well stocked in case jo or ike make like the big bad wolf and try to blow your house (or lanai!) down....

GOOD LUCK MUSE SWINGS!!!

willow said...

Okay, this was a very amusing post and I was giggling through the whole thing, but when I got down to the end and saw the picture, I fell out of my chair laughing!!! Thanks for the funnies. :D

MuseSwings said...

Ladies, did you all stop by together? We should have had tea.
LL, I've tried to figure out how to fake my own death on occasion and often wonder why my brain cells still bother to click in. Yes, it seems we are running parallel lives but only in the areas that make our left eyes twitch.
Spotted Dick - which sounds just a bit rude, doesn't it- is an English dessert. One apparently has it for afters with a spot of tea.

Lavinia said...

If you look on your live traffic feed on your sidebar it looks like I am obsessively visiting your blog today. the truth is, I am!!! and I keep clicking refresh....you know you have a very refreshing blog!

MuseSwings said...

Thanks ever so much! I saw that you were popping around to other blogs glad you decided to hang your hat on mine while you visit.

Janeen said...

OH my! My California side is showing because I cracked up laughing when I saw your Piggly Wiggly picture! I had no idea they were still around the country! How fun is that! And that can of pudding - HA HA HA HA HA!! What's for dessert...! ha ha We don't have anything that cute where I am. It's always nice to see that you are still up and running and not directly impacted by all these storms going by you!

MuseSwings said...

Janeen, glad you stopped by and got a good laugh! Isn't that dessert a hoot? I'll have to take a poll and see if anyone has ever actually purchased and eaten it.

Shellmo said...

Very funny! I thought my husband was the only one who drove me crazy at the grocery store! (I think he does it on purpose so I won't bring him anymore.)

MuseSwings said...

I think you're right Shelly - and yet they persist!

Betsy said...

I can sooo relate to this! I've forgotten my list before and slowly went down every isle as to have things on the shelves jog my memory. Then, check out, feeling fairly confident that I remembered it all....only to get home and see that the most imporatant thing was the one thing I forgot! LOL!

MuseSwings said...

Betsy, I am so relieved that I am not the only one. The other comments will allow us both to feel better about ourselves :-)

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

Guess what, I used to work at the Piggly Wiggly headquarters in Jacksonville, FL!! I was their Francise Accountant in the late 1970's. I used to joke about it and say I handled the greased pigs. [lol] At any rate, it was the job from Hell. Then I moved up to MONY (Mutual of New York Life Insurance). Good move.
Anyway ...
The grocery shopping experience seems oddly familiar, what with the tension and all, only we don't use our own bags. I'd much rather pollute the environment with those fake ones. They're my legacy to the planet. LOL!