Showing posts with label Xanax. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Xanax. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Dr. West discusses the Nervous Affections of Women



As if he hasn't said enough by chapter one, Dr. West insists on discussing the Nervous Affections of Women throughout Maidenhood and Motherhood. There is plenty of opportunity for any woman to go over the deep end at any moment of her life. Puberty is the very earliest that a maiden might fall into the chasm of hysteria. Hysteria signifies womb, and, since only women suffer from hysteria it is determined that the development of the womb brings the maiden into the reach of this malady. And, good news, my hysterical readers - hysteria ceases after mature womanhood. I wish someone would have told me that sooner I could have avoided about 10 years of hysteria.
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You two! You evil men! You were late for tea and now see what you have done!:
The good Doctor has a perfectly legitimate explanation for the hysterical young maiden: "It is the result of her literary education; that her mental faculties are expanded beyond human powers of endurance by being placed alongside of her brothers in class and stimulated by their ambitious nature to emulation of them. The result is collapse and wreck. It has been demonstrated beyond the possibility of a doubt that though the mental faculties of woman are of a finer texture than those of men, they are composed of more "shreds" which make the mental chords equally strong and susceptible of even greater strains. ...She looks forward to hours or days of pain and anguish. In addition, overstimulating novels, matinee' entertainments, associating with hired Irish girls, and French bonnes are in part responsible for this malady in our young maidens."
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The Yellow Wallpaper:
General exhaustion, often accompanied by a nervous cough, palpitations, and a sense of suffocation can be treated with 3 drachms Citrate of Iron, 30 grains Quinine Sulphate, 3 drachms of Tincture of Nux Vomica and 3 ounces of water - 3 tsp. per day and she'll be in the pink in no time. Unless of course there is a relapse. Or she becomes engaged.
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Long engagements may lead to a debilitated condition of the system, exhaustion of nerve power and may lead to serious derangement. 3 months to a year is recommended for the nervous, excitable and passionate American Maidens.
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The planning of the wedding may put the maiden in danger of nervous excitement and exhaustion as will the marriage ceremony itself when she feels that all eyes are on her and every movement is watched.
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All this hair is just going to cause hairsteria:
The wedding banquet can lead to problems if eaten too late or the food is too rich for the bride who's circulation of the blood and digestive organs are in a fragile state due to the the strain of the aforementioned puberty, engagement and wedding planning. We've already talked about the dangers of the honeymoon, so we'll fore go that nightmarish duty and move on to the honeymoon tour. This may also affect her health. Many cases of permanent unhappiness and permanent ill health dating from the wedding journey come under the notice of all physicians. It's no wonder the wedding tour is not condemned all together!
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Here is an extreme case in point of my very own observation: Victor and 15 year old Maria Penasco were married on 12/10/1910. Victor was wealthy beyond belief and he and his little bride were very much in love. They took a 2 year tour of Europe financed by a constant flow of money from Victor's mom and Maria aka Pepita acquired among many other things, jewelry valued at about $400,000.00. Which is about $20.43 American by today's standards.
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They were in Paris in April of 1912, and they decided to finish off the honeymoon with a cruise. They took a first class cabin, C65, and sailed away with their maid Fermina in tow. The ship? Oh, it was the Titanic. Needless to say, with her maid and herself stowed safely aboard Life boat 8, Pepina was troubled with such hysteria that the Countess of Rothes handed over her steering duties at the tiller to her cousin so she could sit with Pepita and attempt to give her comfort. Pepita was in mourning for Victor for 6 years. At the end of this time she remarried, gave birth to 3 children and lived until April 3 1972. Each of those post Titanic highlights in her life gave new opportunity for hysteria and nervous conditions.
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A tranquil place to rest:
Another case in point regarding hysteria: Due to the summer's heat and being required by her father to eat 2 day old unrefrigerated mutton stew for breakfast resulted in the sad tale of the overwrought and overtaxed Lizzie Borden. Perhaps Dad should have shelled out the 2 cents or so it would have cost for 2 soft boiled eggs. Surely it would have prevented Lizzie Borden from axing her father and stepmother the question: Eggs? Couldn't I just have eggs?
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Lemme ax you a question, Pa:
Can I quit for now? I'm starting to feel like my overtaxed brain is shredding and I fear hysteria. We'll work on Motherhood later this week. There are so many reasons that a mother might become a dithering idiot (if she survives the wedding night) that I am concerned you will miss dinner if you continue to read.
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Oh - one post script: The good doctor observed that the women of the working class were not prone to rampant hysteria as are the leisure class for whom he wrote this book. Can I just say one thing to the young women who had nothing better to do than to listen to their hearts beat and count their respiration's per minute? Get a job or a hobby that includes distracting noise.
Alright - one more post script: Spanish law required a body be produced in order for an estate to be granted to the heirs. As happened with many of the souls lost with the Titanic, Victor's body was never recovered. A concerned brother of Pepita spoke with those involved with the recovery of the dead. Money exchanged hands, and voila! The remains of one of the unidentified male passengers became Victor. Pepita, the widow, received her inheritance.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

What? Me Quirky?



I was tagged by Willow at Life at Willow Manor to list 6 Unspectacular Quirky things about myself. This shouldn't have been difficult but it was, so after wracking my one remaining brain cell I asked the Mister for some input. He was DELIGHTED to assist me with this
1. I have a reasonable amount of ESP. I prefer to call it intuition. Examples: 1)knew the exact moment of conception of both of my children and their sex! 2) I can tell when people are talking about me. 3) I know when I am about to receive packages in the mail. 4) When someone confides in me about their own health problem or that of someone close to them I can tell the outcome - which, thank goodness, is usually good.
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2. When friends or family go on vacation to far away places I ask them to bring me a small rock - indigenous to the area - from that place. I have a lovely and continually growing collection.
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3. (Complements of the Mister) 5 or 6 times a day I pour myself a drink of iced tea or iced water and then misplace it or leave it sitting somewhere other than where I am. Only when I am so thirsty I can barely talk do I recall that yes I did pour a drink and it's somewhere - who knows where in the house.
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4. I continually leave things out and on the counter top of each room that has one. Every time I use something - say I get a band-aid for my wounded ego - the band-aid box stays on the counter. Along with empty band-aid wrapper and the antibiotic cream, and the cotton ball I used to dab it on, plus the rest of the package of cotton balls, plus the container of cotton swabs that was sitting in front of the cotton balls in the cupboard. You get the idea.
These two are compliments of the Mister and they are quirks that I have worked up into an art form since I've been unemployed:
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5. I rarely plan ahead for anything. Every day is spur of the moment. No plan whatsoever. Don't know what I'm going to do. Don't know what's for dinner. Don't know until the last second if we're going out for dinner, if I'm going to get a pedicure, if I'm going to go to the grocery store etc. . Don't know. Don't care.
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6. Usually don't know what day it is. This is Tuesday, isn't it? After reading number 5 you can see why it really doesn't matter to me one way or the other.
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So there it is. And since this is a tag game I am tagging the following bloggy buddies. If you've already been tagged or unless you'd rather not play please list 6 of your unspectacular quirks and tag six of your bloggy buddies!
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Thursday, September 4, 2008

Grocery Shopping with the Mister

The Mister and I toddled off to the grocery store today. We have to plan ahead now that our closest store, the ex-Albertson's, is closed. Can't just pop over for a quart of milk today and a tomato tomorrow because the minimum round trip is 8 miles. We've been spoiled.


We have three important shopping rules that we follow diligently:
1) forget the grocery list
2) leave the coupons at home
3) don't buy the most important item

Organization is everything.

Mister is one of those people who only wants to park within three parking spaces of the store. He circles around, circles again and then once more. If he would just drop me off at the door while he finds a space I'd be done shopping before he gets out of the car.

But he doesn't. After about 85 minutes he parks any old place.

What the heck.

Next we play the interactive Reusable Grocery Bag Game. It goes like this ( and I fall for it every time)

The Mister: How many bags should I bring into the store.
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Cynthia: (considers # of items on list plus 2 bags of M&Ms the Mister invariably slides under the celery when she's not looking) Three
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TM: Three? Do you think we'll need three?
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C: Yes. Bring three. (holds up three fingers)
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TM: I think two will work
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C: If you know how many we'll need why do you ask me? Don't ask me. (left eye starts twitching)
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TM: Well, I just think two will work
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C: Two might be okay - it just depends on how you like your potato chips. Whole or smashed to smithereens. You decide.
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TM: Alright, alright I'll bring three, but I tell ya, we won't need all of them.
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C: You're such a minimalist. Don't ask me about bags anymore.
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TM: (Stops walking and starts patting his pockets.)
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C: What are you doing?
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TM: Looking for the shopping list. I think I left it on the table. Did you bring the coupons?
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C: Shit.

At the checkout The Mister encourages the bagger to keep stuffing things into the first two bags until they bulge to overflowing and something purple starts leaking out of the bottom of one of them. Then he folds the third bag with a flourish and announces for all to hear that two bags are plenty.

At home he locates the shopping list and finds that we did in fact forget to buy the most important item on the list; the press and seal plastic wrap. There's about enough left on the current roll to wrap up a gum ball. Got everything else though - plus two bags of M&Ms



pictures complements of Flickr

M&Ms compliments of the Mister




Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Scritch....Scritch....Scritch

Just so you know, the scritch of the Mister's sandals outside my office door has not ceased. I hear the scritching coming closer, and closer, and closer every time I'm in here for more than 5 minutes. Sometimes less. The questions continue - the pressing ones that cannot possibly wait: fire, plague, death on the doorstep. Here are a few of the more critical decisions I have been asked to make while attempting to write, think or maybe just hide out from the news/football/CSI reruns for a moment:

Have you seen the nail clippers?

Have you got the sports section?

What should we have for dinner on Thursday?

Have you fed the fish?


This is an update to a May post that I'm guessing several of my newer blog buddies missed out on. So, please, humor me and read:

The 12 Inch Italian

Monday, July 21, 2008

Stress Test? Stress Test? Who Needs a Stress Test?!?!





I passed my stress test today. I studied. It's the other stresses. The every day stuff that makes my heart go wacko. Not running on a treadmill. That only made me thirsty.

My list of things that are stressful. These are NOT in order of the heart palpitation factor:



Linda Gelanela standing in front of Pinellas County while she gives the weather report (MOVE)

Working

Not Working

Applying for jobs

Being ignored when I apply for jobs

Ignoring job application alerts

Physical examinations

Stress tests

Deciding what's for dinner

Watching Saving Grace (talk about stress!)

Things that go bump in the night

Watching my 401K descend into Never Never Land

Never Never Land

Michael Jackson

Traffic

People driving tan cars

Trying to get to church on time

Hurricane reports

People who take giant steps across the parking lot to get in front of me at Starbucks

People who are spread eagled over the sugar and cream station so I can't get JUST ONE napkin

Losing stuff

Forgetting why I opened the refrigerator

Car making a kabink kabink kabink sound

Leaving my shoes all over the house

Looking for the shoes I left all over the house

The dogs staring at me (WHAT?)

Billy Mays commercials (stop screaming at me!) (SHUT UP)

News Reporters standing on Clearwater Beach with rain slickers on reporting on hurricanes

The Mister staring at me (WHAT?)

Talk Radio (any)

Forgetting where I put stuff

Make-up counter ladies (What's with the attitude and quit looking down your nose at me)

Having to get out of bed before 9:00

Sleeping till 9:00

Sleeping later than 9:00

Dryer lint

Trying to figure out what to wear for a stress test

Football season

Wondering about being old

Remembering that I'm already old

Looking in the vegetable drawer ( I am not responsible enough to buy and store fresh produce)

Having to remove unidentified oozing objects from the vegetable drawer

Things that go bump in the night in the vegetable drawer

Trying to live up to other people's standards

Trying to live up to my own standards

Forgetting I only have to concern myself with living up to God's standards