It's Not Like I'm In a Hurry or Anything
(Originally posted in July 2008)
Whoa! Where do these people come from???? They drive one and a half miles an hour and have no concept of forward motion! They are called Sunday drivers for a good reason. They know better than to come out during the work week. They'd be shot. I left home for church with an entire 15 minutes to spare for the 3 mile drive, plus a Starbucks run. This generally works quite well. But things deteriorate immediately when a guy in a tan car pulls out in front of me on Alderman and goes one and a half miles an hour. He speeds up just as he gets to the light on US 19. HE gets through. Do I? Noooo. I have to wait for the 94 minute light to change. Florida traffic lights are SOOOOO slow. You can read a book, clean out your glove compartment, pull $37 worth of loose change out from under the seats and still have time to check your make-up and hair before it's time to go.
I got away from tan car man for the second time on US 19. He had managed to travel 1 1/2 blocks in a 50 MPH zone. Then he made a dead stop (no turn signal) and turned into the shopping center for whatever. I don't care. Just so long as he's not clogging up traffic.
I turn into Starbucks and it's like the mall parking lot on Christmas Eve. I wait for 5 cars to back out and exit the lot. I get in the store, and there are only 3 people ahead of me but they are
I idle along. and along. and along. Until he comes to his last dead stop and then s-l-o-w-l-e-y turns into his church parking lot. ( I just knew he had to be a different religion than I) Finally, I am free!!! I rev the engine up to 30 MPH (posted speed limit) well, okay, 34, and get to my
Anyone still in there?
church with a heathen attitude. At least with my latte in hand, plus that napkin I waited for, just as the first hymn starts wafting across the lot. Appropriately enough it is "I Am Free". I say a prayer of forgiveness for my evil thoughts toward my fellow man, barrista, tan car, tan car's 3rd cousin and the cash register person and I walk inside for some soul reconditioning. Amen! Enjoy your Sunday! I was late posting this. I took a nap!