Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Daily Road Closures Due To Zombies

The Department of Transportation in Illinois is up in arms because pranksters (their word) in the Collinsville area are hacking road signs to warn drivers that the end is near (as if we didn't know) and to Take Caution Zombies Ahead.


It's all well and good that the original intent of the road signs was to let drivers know that the IDT is working on potholes, but I feel the Zombie problem is far more important. Dancing around the issue by striking out at the hackers, rather than dealing with the Zombies is a very shortsighted way managing the situation.



To suggest that these folks in downtown Collinsville should try to be neater while enjoying ketchup on their fries at the local McDonald's is a farce.



Rise up Collinsville! Bar your windows, stock up on food, and for heavens sake don't go out alone at night.


Public Service Announcement:


Speaking of things that go bump in the night, I have stated several times to the Mister that there are an awful lot of criminals out there with the middle name of Wayne - prime example, John Wayne Gacy, Jr. The Mister generally rolls his eyes and continues flipping news channels. But really, any time a particularly nasty crime is committed the odds are the guy's middle name is Wayne.
Don't be blamin' me, Missy, I told ya not ta name him Wayne. I told ya ta name him Pilgrim.

While surfing the net today I came up with several websites that have come up with this very same conclusion. Within minutes I came up with a list of 350 violent criminals (here's my list) with the middle name of Wayne . Their crimes range from serial killings to sadistic murder, rape, kidnapping and combinations of the above. Let this just serve as a warning not to give your child the middle name of Wayne. Check middle names before dating men, have your daughters and female friends do the same. Don't name your dog Wayne, and for heaven's sake don't associate with Zombies with the first, middle or last name Wayne.


What do you suppose it is about the name Wayne that sets these men off? Suggestions here? Know anyone with the Wayne middle name? Are you going to hang out with them anymore?

22 comments:

Blicky Kitty said...

"Wayne's World! Wayne's World!" How about Shania TWayne? We should keep an eye on her just to be on the safe side. You are really providing a noble public service with the zombie thing.

Those signs would be fun to play with in Photoshop. Easier and less illegal than hacking.

Bella@That damn expat said...

Hey! My husband's middle name is Wayne! Wtf?

Nah, not really. But imagine if it were.

Marie Reed said...

I do have a friend with the middle name Wayne! But he lives in Pensacola, FL so I'm safe!

Dave King said...

Heard about the road signs on our radio - they obviously have good publicity agents, these zombies!

Bibi said...

Hi! I'd read about the 'Wayne' thing, and I don't even know anybody by the first name of Wayne, let alone a middle name...or perhaps they're not telling, until it's revealed by the police.

Jeanne said...

I'm wondering about Eugene -- is there any pattern there? Because all the men I know with the middle name of Eugene seem to wind up on welfare....

steviewren said...

The Zombie road sign thing happened in Austin, TX about a week and a half ago too. Eeeeks, seems like the Zombies are on the move.

I know a couple of guys whose first name is Wayne.....how about them?

MuseSwings said...

Hah! I know you'd be with me on this and not sit there flipping channels and rolling your eyes! I think guys with the first name of Wayne are A-OK so don't kick them out. If they suddenly add a first name to the mix hide the guns.
Jeanne - you have such a good point. Worth doing a study on. I'll alert the department of Welfare to watch out for this. A little welfare faud somehow pales against a tripple homicide though.
Marie - you may be safe, but Pensacola needs to be on alert.
Blick - I thought of you and your amazing photoshop skills when I saw that picture!
Bella - I knew you were kidding about the middle name. After all, you're alive and blogging.
Dave - they do! Hadn't thought of that. BTW what's your middle name?
Bibi - I think you're so right!
Stevie -seems like they're moving north. Bad move with all the ice and sno thought. I think their motor skills are a little lacking for black ice...

lmerie said...

I know someone with the name Dwayne - pronounced Duh-wayne . . duh!!!!!

I have often wondered about the name Jason. I swore my kids would not have any form of that name - Jason- friday the thirteenth; Jason my cousin, Jason my other cousin (hellions) Jason from my High School carpool (another hellion); Jason from my Senior class (hellion revisited) I guess none of them were murderers though - that is good!

Betsy said...

LOL!! Sooo funny!

Sparky ♥ ∞ said...

Me zombie today. How you know? LOL ♥ ∞

(PS: I gave you something sparkly at Facebook. Keep kitties and birdbath LL away from it. tee hee) ♥ ∞

LarryG said...

this is hilarious, and more so, because we have been watching the old John Wayne movies. They are a treat, and so are yoU!

JANE said...

As far as I know, I know NO ONE with the middle name Wayne but I bet I could find a Zombie that does, LOL!!

MuseSwings said...

Imerie - people with the middle name that is a variation of Wayne - such as Dwayne, Dewayne, etc also show tendancies for serial murders and fun stuff like that.
Since there are 2 billion Jasons per US city it's inevitable that several of them will irritate the rest of us to insanity.
Betsy - watch out for Sparky! She's right in front of you! Thanks Sparky - I'll check out Facebook
Larry - What's your middle name??? Most of the Waynes from 1945 - 1985 are named after the Duke.
Jane - I think I know a couple of Zombies too!

Sandy said...

So interesting about the Waynes. I'm trying to think, and off hand I don't know anybody named Wayne...Ooops one just camea to mind, a kids' friend's name is a middle name, steven wayne blank....but he's normal... you do come up with interesting stuff Cynthia!

Marie Reed said...

Hey babe! It's Postcard Friendship Friday tomorrow (PFF) Pancake Flipping Fun... Potatoes French Fried...

Debby said...

What Lavinia's middle name? Have you checked?

Debby said...

What's

Sigh.

MuseSwings said...

Looks can be deceiving, Sandy - watch your back!

Now that you mention it, Debby... I think it's Lavinia Wayne Birdbath. Mine???? It's Ann.

Yaya said...

I think that is so funny about the zombie road signs!

Renee said...

too funny with the ketchup at McDonalds. xoxo

Renee

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, man, I got stuck behind a zombie pile-up on the 405 Freeway yesterday on my way to have my cuticles polished.

What a mess.

I hate it when I get blood and guts on perfectly nice suede shoes.

Sorry I haven't been by as much as I'd like lately...I'm sooo behind on my bloggy visits right now - trying desperately to catch up!!!

XO

Anna