I Am Not Making This Up

I'm Stuck On You!


"MIAMI (Reuters) – Florida wildlife managers have launched an experiment to see if they can keep crocodiles from returning to residential neighbourhoods by temporarily taping magnets to their heads to disrupt their "homing" ability.
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Researchers at Mexico's Crocodile Museum in Chiapas reported in a biology newsletter they had some success with the method, using it to permanently relocate 20 of the reptiles since 2004.
"We said, 'Hey, we might as well give this a try," Lindsey Hord, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission's crocodile response coordinator, said on Tuesday.
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Crocodiles are notoriously territorial and when biologists move them from urban areas to new homes in the wild, they often go right back to the place where they were captured, travelling up to 10 miles (16 km) a week to get there.
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All They Really Need Is A Map and A Compass

Scientists believe they rely in part on the Earth's magnetic fields to navigate, and that taping magnets to both sides of their heads disorients them.

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"They're just taped on temporarily," Hord said. "We just put the magnets on when they're captured and since they don't know where we take them, they're lost. The hope would be that they stay where we take them to."

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Hord and his co-workers have tried it on two crocodiles since launching the experiment in January, affixing "a common old laboratory magnet" to both sides of the animals' heads. One got run over by a car and died, but the other has yet to return, Hord said.

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Self Explanatory

Once an endangered species, American crocodiles' numbers have rebounded to nearly 2,000 in coastal south Florida, their only habitat in the continental United States. That puts them in increasing contact with humans, especially in areas where backyards border on canals around Miami and the Florida Keys."

A couple of things came to mind when I read this:

1) I imagined a crocodile with Betty Boop refrigerator magnets taped to his head.

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2) I pictured the Wildlife guys at a meeting, feet on the desk, short sleeved shirts with ties, pencils behind their ears, donuts everywhere, throwing out ideas to keep crocs from going back to the pond. So far the list reads 1) shoot 'em 2) shoot 'em again.

Then Herbie Saltpeter, who hasn't said anything at all in any meeting for 27 years throws out the magnet idea. They jump on it because 1) they all have duct tape in the truck and 2) they also figure since Herbie hasn't had an idea in twenty seven years, this must be the voice of God that has spoken through him.

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3) The quote "Hey, we might as well give this a try" sounds suspiciously like the question: How do you know when to dial 911 in Florida?

Answer: Anytime anyone says "Hey ya'll watch this!"

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4) I thought how we can easily cut the divorce rate: Just tape a couple of refrigerator magnets to the Mister's baseball cap and send him out for a pack of cigarettes.