Saturday Salubrious Signs - Taurus

Taurus

Unlike the simpering Virgo who dallies about on her fainting couch, YOU Taurus have got to get things in control. These are hard times. It's up to you to save us all. (that means YOU, Sparky) You have got to take the bull by the horns and get the other eleven of us Astrological signs through this. Set aside that pet loving, whale saving, earth toned do what I want lifestyle of yours for just once and GET OUT THERE. NOW. So what if it's Saturday, Taurus, there is a world to save and you are the one's to do it. The rest of us took a vote while you were out on another one of your freakin' coffee breaks enjoying the aroma of those dark roast Columbian beans and you are the Chosen One. If you need some backup, take those cuspy Gemini's along (as in Debby).

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Gemini

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They won't be much help, but if you dress them up in leathers they will be doubly intimidating.

Taurus PT22

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You'll need one of these.

Taurus Diesel

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And one of these

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And wear a helmet for crying out loud. You are not invincible. The rest of us will be making a pie chart of the the most notorious embezzlers, cheaters, real estate frauds, Ponzi schemers and corporate thieves and you and your Don Knot's-like Gemini's are in charge of making them put it all back where they found it!

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Clean up Dodge, Taurus!

Another Postcard Friendship Friday!

The Million Dollar Pier, St. Petersburg, FL

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Happy Postcard Friendship Friday! I have added this to my collection of what is now two vintage postcards! The picture is an airplane view of what was then called the Million Dollar Pier in St. Petersburg Florida. The world famous Million Dollar Pier opened in 1926. The Mediterranean-revival casino style building featured a central atrium, an open-air ballroom with terrazzo floors on the rooftop and an observation deck costing $998,279.18. Trolley tracks ran right up to the casino. Notice the battleships docked at the pier!

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A succession of piers at this location included

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• the privately owned Railroad Pier in 1889,
• the privately owned Electric Pier in 1906, with wonderful night lighting
• The Municipal pier in 1914 (seriously damaged by the hurricane of 1921)
• The Million Dollar Pier in 1926
• The Pier in 1973 to present
  

The postcard is postmarked February 12, 1934, and the message reads:

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Dear Dad,

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Howard and I visited the battleships you see in the picture. Mr Bates took Howard's picture on one of the cannon seats and was he tickled. Weather has been perfectly lovely and warm. We go bathing every day. You will be surprised to hear that I can float and is it fun. Heard you had a very bad cold spell up north. Well we didn't get any of it down here. Will write letter later on.

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Mother.

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The mailing address is Bogata NJ - which by the way is pronounced Buh-GO-ta. The "Bog" recalls the Bogarts and the "ta" is for the Bantas, two families that used to own all of what is now Bogota which is on the east shore of the Hackensack River. The population was 7,341 in 1930, and the industry was paperboard mills. Their products included baseball cards.
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My take on the people involved here is:

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Henrietta Peters has taken little Howard (aged 10 1/2) to visit friends in Florida - Mr. and Mrs. Bates (who offhandedly suggested they stop in and see them if they are ever in Florida - never expecting for one moment that they would actually show up on their doorstep - for 3 weeks no less.) Henrietta's husband, Lawrence, who she calls "Dad" manages one of the mill offices. He prefers to take his 2 week holiday at Coney Island in the summer so he has packed Henrietta and young Howard off for a few weeks of frolic in St. Petersburg, FL.

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Their daughter, nineteen year old Audry, has also stayed home. She is recently engaged to Albert Blogmeister III - quite a catch according to the bridge club - and she is completing her studies at Windmere College and Finishing School For Women. Mother Peters is staying with Audrey and Lawrence to see to their needs and provide meals that are much more nutritious than those her daughter-in-law Henrietta manages to throw together. Henrietta buys store bought bread - can you imagine!

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Meanwhile, in Florida, Mr. Bates is taking great pains to entertain the precocious young Howard and has brought him to see the battleships docked at the Million Dollar Pier. He has been cowed into convincing the ship's Captain to let Howard sit in the cannon seat for a picture. Howard promised not to touch a thing, but just as Mr.Bates expected, Howard did just the opposite, and has fired two cannon shots directly at Tampa, hitting the bell tower on the Sacred Heart Cathedral. The Coast Guard, on full alert, is speeding towards them across Tampa Bay while Henrietta, oblivious as always is busy writing yet another postcard to her husband whom she insists on calling "Dad" which just sets Mr. Bates teeth on edge to the point that his wife is having to give him a powder each night before bed.

The Pier as it looks today.

For more Postcard Friendship Friday Fun visit Marie at Voila! Vintage Postcards!

The Realistic Virgo

Virgo needs to look less like this





And more like this



I need to start writing my own horoscopes. Those in the paper are always speaking to an energetic, moneyed, superhuman, organized, perfectionist, and social career woman.

What I need is a daily word of encouragement for a late sleeping 401Kless, nere-do-well, drop it anywhere, leave it there for 5 weeks, unemployed hermitized unemployed blogger.



I want it to say stuff like this:



Thursday, February 26th: This is a good day for Virgo's to stay in bed. Fluff those pillows and move your coffee pot to the nightstand. Take out a good book, but be ever so careful lest the tall stack that bows in the middle and defies gravity should fall on your head necessitating the need to shower (and don't forget to shave those legs - it's been 4 days now and you are starting to look like a subject for a Cactus Monday post) in order to go to Emergency. To-do lists are not for you, Virgo. If you have one, use it for a coffee coaster. Plans for the day should consist soley of a trip to the You So Lucky Nail Salon or the candy aisle at Publix. Circus Peanuts candies will improve your aura and with your current financial situation, 3 for $5 is like found money. Virgo's are optimistically inclined to get by on good looks and the seat of their pants today. Wallow in that attitude. The Mister can do the vacuuming and empty the dishwasher. Energy level equals your lucky number of the day: ZILCH.



Virgo Lucky Number

The Hermitization Of the Virgo Psyche

I Am Not Making This Up

I'm Stuck On You!


"MIAMI (Reuters) – Florida wildlife managers have launched an experiment to see if they can keep crocodiles from returning to residential neighbourhoods by temporarily taping magnets to their heads to disrupt their "homing" ability.
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Researchers at Mexico's Crocodile Museum in Chiapas reported in a biology newsletter they had some success with the method, using it to permanently relocate 20 of the reptiles since 2004.
"We said, 'Hey, we might as well give this a try," Lindsey Hord, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission's crocodile response coordinator, said on Tuesday.
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Crocodiles are notoriously territorial and when biologists move them from urban areas to new homes in the wild, they often go right back to the place where they were captured, travelling up to 10 miles (16 km) a week to get there.
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All They Really Need Is A Map and A Compass

Scientists believe they rely in part on the Earth's magnetic fields to navigate, and that taping magnets to both sides of their heads disorients them.

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"They're just taped on temporarily," Hord said. "We just put the magnets on when they're captured and since they don't know where we take them, they're lost. The hope would be that they stay where we take them to."

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Hord and his co-workers have tried it on two crocodiles since launching the experiment in January, affixing "a common old laboratory magnet" to both sides of the animals' heads. One got run over by a car and died, but the other has yet to return, Hord said.

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Self Explanatory

Once an endangered species, American crocodiles' numbers have rebounded to nearly 2,000 in coastal south Florida, their only habitat in the continental United States. That puts them in increasing contact with humans, especially in areas where backyards border on canals around Miami and the Florida Keys."

A couple of things came to mind when I read this:

1) I imagined a crocodile with Betty Boop refrigerator magnets taped to his head.

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2) I pictured the Wildlife guys at a meeting, feet on the desk, short sleeved shirts with ties, pencils behind their ears, donuts everywhere, throwing out ideas to keep crocs from going back to the pond. So far the list reads 1) shoot 'em 2) shoot 'em again.

Then Herbie Saltpeter, who hasn't said anything at all in any meeting for 27 years throws out the magnet idea. They jump on it because 1) they all have duct tape in the truck and 2) they also figure since Herbie hasn't had an idea in twenty seven years, this must be the voice of God that has spoken through him.

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3) The quote "Hey, we might as well give this a try" sounds suspiciously like the question: How do you know when to dial 911 in Florida?

Answer: Anytime anyone says "Hey ya'll watch this!"

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4) I thought how we can easily cut the divorce rate: Just tape a couple of refrigerator magnets to the Mister's baseball cap and send him out for a pack of cigarettes.

Dr. West Discusses the uhm Wedding Journey

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When we last left Dr. West, he was suggesting that the bride starve herself at the wedding in order to avoid embarrassing emissions. Hopefully her mother will take a moment to speak with her of important matters (Millicent, you are embarking on a uhm ahhhh uh journey that is…….well uh aaaaaa whaaa uhm a er neep unh oh you look a bit peckish dear, how about I fix you a nice chicken sandwich?) (white or wheat?)

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And now, if you will take a seat, Dr. West will discuss the all important wedding journey:

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A wedding journey is the prescribed finale of the wedding festivities. It is usually begun on the day of the marriage and is of variable length, both in the distance traveled (Have you seen the GPS, Millicent?) and in the time devoted to it. It is a custom with some commendable features, but many that are the exact reverse. It is advisable that husband and wife should be alone for a week or two, both in order to enjoy each other’s society, and to become thoroughly acquainted with each other. It is also desirable that this relation should be apart from the family and friends of both (preferably abroad so the bride cannot dash home to her mother, run up the stairs and lock herself in her childhood room)

Millicent, dear, I was just going to ask you if you would like a chicken sandwich

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There is a vulgar familiarity indulged by close friends which cannot but be annoying and humiliating to a woman of sensitive and refined tastes ( Ooooh Milllllllicent how did you sleeeeeeeep last niiiiiiiight ??? (wink wink))
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The looks, actions and sometimes the words of such friends seem to intimate that the one object and aim of marriage – its summum bonom – (I have to look this up in Gray’s Anatomy) is the indulgence of animal appetite (Oh lordy, where did I put those smelling salts!!!!) The sly look, the suppressed twitter, the covert insinuation, all point to this one fact, that such a thought is uppermost in the mind. The husband, poor fellow, is made to run the gauntlet of no end of gibes and intimations, doubly galling because they mean nothing disassociated from the woman who is now his wife. And whom he now loves and respects above all her kind. He can resent nothing. (Except, perhaps, for having been made to sleep in the bathtub on his wedding night) He knows, perhaps – the guilty wretch! -that he has guyed his friends when they were married. Besides, to show irritation is to put himself out of character as a happy bridegroom. It is better, therefore the honeymoon be spent away from familiar (Why you evil, leering, ogling, besmirching, humiliating, taunting, drooling, staring and otherwise insinuating friends!)
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You asked my new bride if she slept well??????? Now see what you have done!

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It is not unusual to devote this time to travel. This is unwise. Traveling and sightseeing is exhausting, even in ordinary circumstances. It is tenfold more so under the conditions of the (I feel faint) honeymoon. Few women at marriage are experienced travelers. They do not know how to travel and escape its weariness. They are accustomed to the peace and quiet of home life, and the railway or hotel is trying on their nerves. The husband, be he ever so kind and attentive, is a comparative stranger (Mother said I must never speak to strangers!) What she requires more than anything else, is quiet and rest. (opiates too) This she cannot possibly attain in the bustle and strangeness of a crowded hotel.

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The foundation of many an unhappy future is laid on the wedding tour. Not only is the young wife tried beyond all her experience, but the husband too, partakes of her weakness. Many men who really love the woman they marry are subject to a slight revulsion of feeling a few days after marriage. When the veil falls and the girdle is loosed (are we talking about his or hers here??) the fair illusion vanishes. ( Well, that’s all I really wanted, Millicent. Thanks ever so) A half regret crosses their minds for the jolly bachelorhood they have renounced. The mysterious charms which gave their loved one the air of something more than human, disappear in a prosaic sunlight of familiarity. This mutual revulsion of feeling is entirely natural, It will pass away in a few days and a deep abiding tenderness, founded on a more substantial basis than lover’s affections will take its place. Patience and self-command on the part of both are needed, lest permanent dislike be established.

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Necessities for the bride's medicine cabinet

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Many a woman dates the loss of her health to her wedding tour. Add to this the consummation of the marriage ( oh spare me, my eyesight is beginning to fade) means a great change in her physically, and the reason for her destroyed health can be readily seen. So many cases of permanent unhappiness and permanent ill-health dating from the wedding journey come under the notice of all physicians that it is no wonder that many of them condemn it altogether. (what? condemn what? Sounds like the poor dear thing should just skip the marriage?)
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A short journey is a benefit if it be followed by a week or ten days of quiet, peaceful rest in some home like place (asylum? hospital perhaps? Induced coma?) If in summer a sojourn by the seaside and a stay in a quiet home-like hotel is delightful. If the marriage occur in a colder season, nothing is better than a visit to a prudent affectionate friend of the bride (didn’t you just say NO leering disgusting flatulent friends?) one who is herself happily married (oh Beatrice, how did you EVER survive!). The wife will gain both the home-rest so demanded, and also can confide in her experienced friend what she cannot yet tell her husband ( Louisa! You will NOT believe what Hubert has proposed that I do! I am so mortified I shall fall in a dead faint) and can receive better counsel than even her husband can give. ((Millicent, you are embarking on a uhm ahhhh uh journey that is…….well uh aaaaaa whaaa uhm a er neep unh oh you look a bit peckish dear, how about I fix you a nice chicken sandwich?) (white or wheat?)

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Orchids and Marmalade Monday

Three of my blooming orchids! From left to right they are LC Rojo, Howeara Lava Burst and Dendrobium Farmeri.

The LC Rojo (on the left) is the hybrid of the two orchids I have pictured below: Cattleya Aureantica found in Mexico in 1840 and Laelia Milleri of Brazil first described in the 1960s. Shortly after the Laelia was found, orchid growers created the LC Rojo hybrid. I added this to my collection last February. It blooms once a year in the Spring.

Cattleya Aurantiaca

Laelia Milleri

The middle orchid is an Howeria, and it is an intergeneric hybrid between Leochilus (Mexico), oncidium (Caribbean) and Rodriguezia (Panama) It blooms twice a year, and has long lasting flowers.

The orchid on the right is a Dendrobium Farmeri - this is a species orchid described first in 1840 It blooms in the spring and is from India and Thailand. This particular one is a division that I made. These are all old canes that that have bloomed in previous years and have lost their leaves. I'm hoping new canes will grow on this one. The other half of the division is younger, has lots of new canes and isn't bald like this poor guy. This orchid blooms once a year in the Spring. On larger, younger plants there are multiple flowering spikes.

None of these orchids are scented. Bummer dude.

I made more marmalade last week. Notice the difference in color? The middle jar is from the batch I made a few weeks ago. The other three were made last week. For this batch I picked far more blood oranges than I planned to use, cut them in half and chose only the brightest and most colorful ones for the marmalade. I used the rest for juice. Mmmm!


Dr. West has been taking in the waters and having a rest cure over at the Safety Harbor Spa. He said he'll be back tomorrow with another hysterical dissertation - or did he say dissertation on the hysteria pitfalls of marriage. Either way, stay tuned.

My Favorite F-Words

I've been tagged by my dear bloggybuddy, Betsy of My Five Men to name 10 of my favorite F-Words. Uh...let me re-phrase that. Betsy tagged me to name 10 things I love that begin with the letter F. That sounds better, now doesn't it! And here they are:

1) Fireflies

2) Tiny baby Fingers

3) French Toast

4) Fountains

5) A Florida favorite - Flip Flops

6) Finches

7) Fudgey Frosting

8) Frosty Window Panes

9) Forget-Me-Nots

10) Fruit Cake! Somebody's gotta love it!

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If you would like to play along, just leave a comment with Betsy. (Check out Betsy's favorite M-Words.) She will supply you with a letter to use for your post. This was a Fabulously Frivolous Fun post! Thank you, Betsy!

Friday Friendship Postcards from Bloggyfriends!

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Last September, Stevie Wren hosted a postcard exchange, and 11 bloggiefriends participated. We each designed postcards and sent them off. Going out to the mailbox became a very exciting event as the postcards arrived one after another. Each postcard was a treasure of artwork, recipes and places to visit. What a fun idea that was. In the picture you can see all of my postcards strewn about and waiting to be put away for safekeeping.

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I just happen to have the perfect place to store these beautiful cards - my Letter to Marilyn Box!

This pretty work of art, made with an empty cigar box. was given to me 15 years ago as a birthday gift by my brother Bill. It contains a note from the artist:

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"The Letter to Marilyn Box

This box was commissioned by Bill for Cynthia on the occasion of her birthday. The golden box has letters going out and flowers coming in. Words are lilacs and tulips and squash blossoms. Cynthia loves art and poetry, both of which are symbolized in this box. Note the letter in the slot...it must be a birthday card for you! Enjoy!"

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The artist put pretty stamps, tiny handmade envelopes, gift cards and postcards inside the box.

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It's the prefect place for artistic postcards from Bloggyfriends, don't you agree?

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Stop by Marie's Voila! Vintage Postcards to see who else is participating in Friday Friendship Postcards

Life's Funny Like That - The Party Begins!!

Debby, at Life's Funny Like That is having her last chemo treatment today, 2/19! What a cause for celebration this is! Bush Babe is hosting a great party and it's getting bigger all the time as other bloggers add links - stop by Bush Babes and see the world wide celebration! Over here at Muse Swings the corks are popping for my dear and very brave bloggybuddy who has come a long way in showing cancer it is not a welcome guest at any party whatsoever! Especially not this one!

Let's open the pink champagne

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Let those happy bubbles rise

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Bake a pink cake

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And celebrate! Hugs and Love on this happy day, Debby!!!!!

Dr. West The Wedding Planner Part II

Millicent, you must be strong! We have to lick 300 envelopes this evening.

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Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats and Dr. West will continue on with his dissertation about the careful consideration of the bride in the planning of the wedding and during the ceremony and reception:

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Remember, from the physiological standpoint, prudence demands that the strength of the bride be husbanded with the utmost frugality. Invite no excitement. Avoid all social festivities, however pleasurable which impose an unnecessary drain upon the nervous forces. Nothing will be lost in a social way. ( Cancel 6 or 7 of the bridal showers and for heaven's sake do not have a bachelorette party!) No friend of good sense will question quietude and simplicity.

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The Guest List

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Unless the wedding be entirely private there will be guests to invite. It is the bride's privilege to to elect whom she will have present ( Charles, if you dare invite Stud Wattley and that fat assed strumpet girlfriend of his I shall stay home in bed!) There are two classes of persons who's claims stand first and cannot be ignored. These are her own and her husband's relatives. ( Your father's first 4 wives are NOT relatives any longer. Have Papa pick which one (1) he would like to bring). She will ordinarily find that he will restrict the number of these to the lowest possible number (You may NOT invite your entire cricket team!) Next in order are mutual friends, the bride's friends and the groom's friends.

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Millicent, remember those randy little robins we saw earlier today? Could you perchance consider that we as humans also, as in nature ....Millicent! At least fall on the pillows this time!)

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Preparing the guest list appears to be a very small matter, but it is not and may very well be a cause of worry and anxiety to the bride. Women have been known who have fretted themselves into a sickness because they discover, at the last moment, they have overlooked someone whose presence is especially desired. (Oh Charles I must take to my bed! I have forgotten to invite your parents!). It is sometimes the case that a very slight cause of worry will, in the exaggerated nervous condition, lead to injurious results. For these reasons, let the guest list be attended to in sufficient time before the celebration of the marriage to be free from its bustle and excitement.

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I'll have another wee drop of opiates to tide me over during the ceremony

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The Wedding Ceremony

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The wedding ceremony is generally trying to the sensitive nerves of the bride. Instinctively modest and retiring, as most women are, the publicity of the ceremony abashes them. Being the central subject of the day shames, embarrasses and oppresses her. This mental state is trying. It has it.s ulterior effects rendering her nervous excitement greater and the exhaustive process more rapid and more emphatic (Perhaps, Mother, we should drive to the church in an ambulance) . Happily for her the ceremony is brief. If she can carry herself to this climax without experiencing undue excitement she will have little trouble preserving her calmness until the end ( climax? She ain't seen nuthin' yet!)

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The Banquet

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(Should the bride survive until the climax of the ceremony) the custom is to follow the ceremony with a banquet. It is a very unwise custom if we consider the character of the feast and the conditions under which it is eaten. From what has already been said, it is manifest that the bride must be of extraordinary mold, indeed, if she so not find herself by this time (dead) (comatose) (a blithering idiot) not without appetite, but also in a physical condition in which it is highly improper to take food into the system. (Millicent! Now see what you have done to the cake! Who in their right mind is going to eat that!) The physical and mental strain under which she has labored for several hours, perhaps, has so affected the circulation of the blood as to leave the stomach and other digestive organs without a necessary supply. By no effort of will can she restore the equilibrium of circulation.


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The banquet is usually held at an unordinary hour for food consumption. Many persons in ordinary health and under no press of excitement are injured by feasting at irregular house, Much more seriously may it affect the newly-made wife. ( I am not making this up, AND you are going to have to figure this next paragraph out for yourself)
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It must also be added that the nature of the viands is such that, unless sparingly partaken of, the result is certain to be injurious. The materials are rich and highly seasoned substantials, followed by a rich and unnutritious cake ( Except for Millicent's which has met with a disastrous accident). The bride must, perforce, show approbation lest she find herself in a condition where she is unable to retain such gormandizing. (Why don't you just say that Millicent is going to toss her cookies!) Nor is she allowed any repose on this very social occasion.
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(Better to delay partaking of food until such time as conditions are more favorable, Millicent. We'll get a to-go box for some of these wings and fries and we can have a nice repast in bed tonight while we watch the rest of the Buc's game. Millicent? Ohhh curses! Her father warned me not to say the word bed in any form).
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We will ask Dr. West to stop talking this instant while I pass out the smelling salts and cold compresses. We will be back very soon with The Wedding Journey and The Marriage Contract where Dr. West dances around the issue of the wedding night.

Dr. West The Wedding Planner - Part I

Dr. West’s long absence from the Maidenhood and Motherhood (circa 1886) lecture series is due, he explained, to a recent and prolonged overabundance of nervous disorders and the treatment thereof. He was kind enough to take a break from dispensing laudanum and smelling salts to discuss our next topic, The Wedding:

The Right Time To Marry.

Summer and Fall are the times usually selected. There are reasons that are indicated from the teachings of Nature that would point to springtime as the more commendable. This is the period generally selected by the lower animals as the time for mating which may be a significant suggestion to the human family (Millicent, do you remember seeing those randy little robins this afternoon? Try to keep that in mind as a suggestion of things to come, as it were..that people, as in nature…Millicent? Oh she’s fainted dead away again). An additional reason is if a child is born within the first year, the child will have attained sufficient age to resist the disorders of teething before the approach of the second summer. (Uhm, okay) .

The Right Time of the Month To Marry.
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There are certain times in every woman’s month that alone would indicate an unpropitious time for the consummation of such social relations. It would be quite embarrassing for a sensitive maiden who normally does not even appear in society under certain circumstances to enter matrimony at this particular period. (Ohhhh period…. Why didn’t you just say it?)
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Hence she should select a day about midway between the times of her periodical sickness and allow 12 days to intervene between her entire recovery from her sickness and the day of her wedding. (Why, you ask??) This would bring her safely into Nature’s period of sterility that she need not suffer the embarrassment consequent to early pregnancy. This is usually followed by a few days of premature birth which in a gossiping and uncharitable community might reflect unjustly on her character. (Elvira, we must count the days again. The wedding was on June 21. Do you count the 21st or the 22nd as the first opportunity for you-know-what? Elvira? Oh stop fainting and count)
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The Wedding Planner
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Too many brides are concerned with how the wedding will be considered by others and are forgetful of the drain that is being made on their own nervous resources. It is advisable to consult with the bridegroom regarding the particular arrangements. For obvious reasons; his judgment is better than hers (How ‘bout we have it at Inky’s Sports Bar. We’ll get a couple a barrels of Bud, throw in some wings and some curly fries with that cheesey sauce. Besides, them waitresses are HOT!) While she is liable to think of others he thinks only of her. ( Besides, the Bucks are playin’ and Inky’s got them giant TV screens) Men, as a rule, are simpler in their tastes than women. (I don’t have to wear no tie to this shindig, do I)

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Whether the ceremony is held in the church or the bride’s home, the conditions are about the same. There will necessarily be considerable excitement of the nervous constitution of the bride. The thought of the great change, the severance of tender ties, and the venture into new and untried conditions – these alone are sufficient to excite her nerves to a high pitch.

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You go back out there and get those self sticking stamps right this instant.

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Not all guests will be thoughtful of the nerves of the bride. The novelty of being the central figure in the day’s events, the vigilance necessary to preclude annoying blunders, etc. (is that ETcetera or Excetera?) will add to the drain on her vital powers. It must not be forgotten that nervous exaltation, however delightful is exhausting. It will inevitably followed by a season of depression as great and prolonged as was the antecedent excitement. It is therefore important that the wedding and reception be as simple and brief as social ettiquet will allow. The change from maidenhood to wifehood (You’re going to do WHAT? With WHAT???) is of sufficient magnitude to demand, for it’s safe and happy accomplishment, (OH NO YOU”RE NOT) the most favorable conditions attainable (Don’t you take one more step Stanley or I shall scream). Not a few women there are whose failing health dates from marriage. Many of these women do not know yet, precisely that it was not the marriage which laid the foundation for a shattered system, but the unnecessary and imprudent conduct of the festivities. (This is where the phrase “I have a headache” comes in handy)
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(We are going to ask Dr. West to stop right here and return later for part II of this very important discussion. He natters on in his book for another 23 pages on the subject of the wedding preparations, ceremony and reception! It’s important that you hear every single word, and I am quite sure that he has put you in a high state of excitement already. You probably feel the need to lie down and apply a cold compress for the rest of the day. )