Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Armageddon Worried about THE END

Muse's Aztec Calendar

I was surprised and pleased to discover that another blogger, Anna Lefler of Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder, also follows the Mesoamerican calendar system. She probably shares similar problems such as trying to make an appointment. Like my Doctor calling about scheduling a colonoscopy. I tell her an appointment on 1 alauton would be fine, as long as it doesn't fall on a Wednesday. After a heated discussion during which my current weight/height ratio comes into play, we decide that 63 billion years is not do-able. After all, who knows if that will fall on a Wednesday or not.

Unlike Anna, who follows the Mayan calendar, inconvenience aside, I prefer to use the Aztec. It's a later version that uses kind of a "pick and choose" off the Mayan system. Kind of like Christianity today. Also, the guy in the middle has better teeth. The inconvenience has to to with trying to open the refrigerator with that giant stone magnet on it.

I'll admit the 20 day week is a bit bothersome too, but the holidays are good. Except for those that require human sacrifice. And then there's the end of the world thingie in December 2012. My main concerns about that are:

1. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen very close to Christmas. Should I bother to shop? Should I ask my friends to do their shopping early? What about Christmas cards? Lots of holiday stuff up in the air.

2. What about that colonoscopy I finally agreed to? My last one was fine. No weird stuff going on. So why can't we make the appointment for January 2013? Can't hurt. Either I'll be around to show up or I won't.

3. And then there's The Number One Rule about money: Don't outlive it. That'll be a problem. It will be close to the wire, but if 2012 is the BIG ONE I figure I shouldn't have to go live with my daughter for more than 6 months or so - instead of my original estimate of 10 to 15 years. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to spend more time with her, but she is WAY over Wayne Newton, and my CD collection is going to irritate her quite handily.

Like Anna, I am somewhat concerned about how to manage those around me in December of 2012. Take Chico's for instance. I'm in their Passport Club and I get free standard shipping (and an additional 5% off) for ALL of my orders) If I try to place a standard shipping order on, say, 12/12/12 they'll be all like "you have to pay for the 2 day express because we expect your mailbox to blow up with the rest of the world in the next 5-7 days." That could be costly, especially when I tend to order their clearance items one at a time so I have a steady stream of incoming wardrobe enhancements.

Also, the lawn guy will be calling with special deals for the annual chinch (or is it chintzy) bug spray. "Better get it in now Mrs. Con...ah...Concio... Contr... ahhh...anyway, like I say, do it now or you won't have any chinch bugs to spray."

Those are my thoughts on the subject. You got any?

(I did a spell check on colonoscopy and it kept suggesting kaleidascope. I'd rather have one of those.)

9 comments:

Renee said...

I pray that all comes out okay.

I'm laughing at the calendar and I love Annie she is too funny too.

The housewife quiz is something I originally got from your blog ages ago, but I just break mine up.

Love Renee xoxo

Anna Lefler said...

A 20-day week? Do they still go to T.G.I.Friday's after work?

Thanks for the link-up; it's always flattering to find out I'm thinking the same thing as you. :-)

XO

A.

Sparky said...

Call Dr. West. He can always help you with the colonoscopy anxieties. As far as the calender, I would just play it by ear. :)

Adrienne said...

great, wondeful laughter for me today! i'm in on the kaleidescope!

lailani said...

lol! You crack me up! I don't think we have to think about it though, hell seems to be freezing over and creeping its way across north america. What was that movie with the ice that ended in a library somewhere? Oh well, 20 day weeks, huh?

Martha said...

Gee, I like the Jewish calendar, it's always time for good Take out Chinese.
Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family, Muse Swings!

Shelley said...

My husband loves the aztec calendar too. Hope your colonoscopy goes well. I say get it done quick and over with - and then treat yourself to a drink of the alcohol variety!
:-)

Mim said...

A 20 day week - imagine a series of hump-days (wednesdays! not the other kind of hump)

tattytiara said...

I follow the calendar they give out at the grocery store. Not sure if it's Mayan or Aztec - which is the one with all the recipes?