One More Lick at Lou

Shawn Goes for the Gold

Lu Shanzhen, coach for the Chinese Gymnasts called last night. He was a bit tuckered out from putting all the little car seats in his travel van for his "women" gymnasts.

Lu: This that smart aleck American woman?

C: Lou! Good to hear from you again. How's it going.

Lu: Not so good. I lose face from not winning lots more gold medals.

C: Why do you think that is?

Lu: I think your giant American gymnasts just show up better. Judges see them. Forget what little 40 lb Chinese Gymnast is doing.

C:

Lu: Anyway we be back in four years. We'll show you then. Girls will be bigger and show up better on camera.

C: You're bringing the same girls back?

Lu: Sure. They have a long career ahead of them.

C: They'll be kind of old in 4 years, won't they?

Lu: Ha ha ha No they'll be 16. Olympics say must be at least 16, so I bring 16 girls next time. All 16.

C: I was kind of expecting to hear from your embassy after our previous conversations.

Lu: Ha ha ha. China very democratic now. They check you out, look at your blog. You just small potatoes. Small flea on a large dog. Tiny zit on the face of humanity. Little yellow duck in large bathtub, tiny fleck of rice......

C: Okay, okay. I get it. So, what are you going to be doing now?

Lu: I think I might go to Idaho, or Iowa or Indiana. I forget which one. Starts with "I" though. Got good coach there. He's in much demand now. Might need an assistant.

C: You forgot Illinois, but try Iowa. They've got a lot of corn there.

Lu: Look, I got to go. Girls all waiting in car seats. Got long ride ahead.

C: Well good luck with that. And, listen, don't be a stranger. You've got my number

Lu: Ha ha ha. I got your number all right.

C: And I got yours, Louie. I got yours.