Poetry Bus - Bender Defender

I'm hopping on board - late - even later than usual. Our host is The Stammering Poet, Peter Goulding, and he has given us these prompts:

In a nutshell, I am looking for
1) An ode to pancakes in the persona of a poet of your choice
2) Something (or things) I did while drunk, or
3) A rondeau.

Prompts one and three would have caused brain stem damage or worse, so I dove for number 2 - even though I've laid off the drink of my youth. Which wasn't much to begin with. So I had to use my poetic license - the one that isn't suspended. Bottoms up:

Bender Defender

I Thought that I would be just fine

If I drove right on the middle line

Down the empty two-way country road

I was toolin’ right along at 50

And thought I was being nifty

Feeling very happy and quite bold

Then I saw the flashing blue light bar

Catching up to my ole car

Bidding me to pull aside

So I parked right at the gutter

While thinking what lie I could utter

To gain an un-ticketed ride

I saw his name tag, Pat O’Brien

He asked - little lady where you flyin?

And what’s causing you to drive so badly?

I said, to church, uhm, that’s the thing

So I can pray and I can sing

But I’ll be late now I sighed, sadly

Ah, Me dear mother Brigitte

Would think of me an eedjit

If I made you miss your Sunday Mass

Go! Take the bread, but NO more wine

And thank the Lord that you are fine

Cuz it’s Friday but I’ll let you take a pass

Cynthia Ann Conciatu