Thursday, November 19, 2009

Technically Speaking It's IM Roadkill

I happened to spot a bucket of buzzards flying over US19 this morning. It was an interesting sight, because of the way the sun was positioned. Each time a buzzard turned left, the tip of their wing would light up as if they were using their turn signals. I wish people around here would use turn signals more often.




The first thing that came to mind, of course is the Florida State Critter - the belly-up armadillo. Nothing like a breakfast of roadkill. Speaking of roadkill, the very next thing I thought the buzzards may have glomed on was a potential meal - fresh, and a bit more technical in nature.
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OMG dude! I'm going to YYAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!
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Jest waitaminnit Chester. That lady with the kids'll be by at 8:03
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The next thing that came to mind was WHY does there have to be a law for everything stupid that we do. Why don't we just STOP being stupid. Wow, what an idea. What if we all just grabbed ourselves by the scruff of the neck and said LOOK! What's more important in this scenario? Me texting Lorna about the new shoes I just bought or those kids of mine in the back seat. Or that old couple just ahead of me coming back from a Dr. appointment. Or that guy to the right of me who's getting married next week? Hmm shoes...life....shoes...life....shoes.....
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I counted drivers using cell phones while I waited at a light by a large office building. These people were all turning left onto a street with a 55 mile an hour speed limit that merges into an on ramp for I-275. 4 out of 5. FOUR out of FIVE of the 40 or so drivers were on the cell phone. (Yeah, I just got outta work. I'm gonna stop an pick up some soda on the way home) Three were smoking a cigarette with one hand, using the cell phone with the other, and kind of driving with their wrists. LISTEN to what I'm sayin' here folks.
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Do you get it? Hands free devices and no texting. Pull over to take that call and maybe save someone from being roadkill over a new pair of shoes. Wow! What a concept. Oh, and buckle up while you're at it. We had to make laws about that too.


BTW - a note to FLICKR users. If you're going to photograph an elegance of eagles, a harrowing of hawks or an inquirey of owls, don't call the birds buzzards. Buzzard pictures should be of buzzards. Hawks and osprey and owls aren't buzzards, okay? I had to scroll through 8 pages of pictures before I could steal one that was actually a picture of a buzzard. If you want to text me about this, don't do it in the car.

4 comments:

Debby said...

Snort!

Only you could pull road kill, buzzards, turn signals, and flickr all together and make it work. Dang. You're GOOOD!

lailani said...

I agree with Debby. Love it!

jeannette stgermain said...

Last week a friend of my hubby sent us this pic of a red car, with the title: where is the motorbike, can you see it? What happened, the driver of the red car had someone with her, but was texting while she turned a corner.

She did not see the motorbike (he was going like 80 miles an hour). Then the side of the car was shown.
The motorbike was completely In the car. Needless to say, all 3 will killed on impact. That is scary!!
Thanks for this post!

steviewren said...

I see your mind still turns in the same convoluted directions you're so famous for. lol